Balloons of misery

I'm stupid.

2012-01-16T23:23:00.003+08:00

That's the only possible and appropriate word to describe my current self.
Coz I really feel I'm stupid in lots of different ways.
I can see now why people say I'm stupid and look down on me.

Now don't all come up to me and say, "No, that's not true!"
Because I know my faults.
I know how I bottle things up, how I have an ugly personality, how I always somehow let other people have no pleasant feelings towards me.
But do they know I actually tried really hard?
Of coz they don't.
Coz I don't tell.
And I dont't want to tell.
What's the point? I didn't think it's gonna make me feel any better.

I keep convincing myself to be positive.
Coz I always have been and it has always been easy for me.
I don't know what happened to me last year.
It's like another Lisa suddenly appeared into my life.
She's always overwhelming me with negative thoughts that make me feel like a total idiot.
I keep comforting myself, encouraging myself.
But she keeps pestering me, those dark little voices that keep resounding in my head.
I keep chasing her away but she seems to like staying and is settling here quite well.
I don't know why she came, I just wish she would leave soon.
I don't like her.
She's making my life difficult.
And I despise myself.
I'm stupid.
Coz I keep making excuses.
I'm selfish.
Coz I only think of myself.
Me? Positive? Cheerful? Hyper?
You must be mistaking me for someone else.
I'm actually an anti-social, evil and black-hearted person.
I seem like I need counselling.
But I just don't want to talk to anyone.
I counselled myself plenty enough.

Any songs to recommend?

ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS.

2011-12-20T03:46:00.005+08:00

WARNING: UNLESS YOU ARE TOO

BORED, DO NOT READ THIS LONG AND

BORING POST. DO NOT. I SERIOUSLY

WARNED YOU. IF YOU READ IT JUST

COZ I GAVE SUCH A FERVENT

WARNING,

I'LL BE DAMN UPSET WHEN YOU DON'T

FINISH READING AND JUST STOP

HALFWAY. I'M NOT BEING DRAMATIC

HERE BUT DON'T BREAK MY ALREADY

FRAGILE HEART. THE FACT THAT THIS

WARNING IS SO LONG JUST SHOWS

HOW SERIOUS I AM.

I WARNED YOU.

I'm sorry for always only using just words.

I know I'm in the wrong and I am aware of my bad habits and weaknesses.

But it's still hard to change.

Especially for a weak-willed person like me.

See?

I know I'm weak-willed, but I don't really do anything about it.

Actually it's not like I really DIDN'T do anything about it.

The devil of me just always somehow wins the angel of me.

I'm the type who's afraid of using actions.

I'm afraid of failure.

I'm afraid of rejection.

I'm fully aware that I'm an outright coward.

But it's precisely I'm afraid of these things,

I eventually achieved those.

Never ever braving myself to confront problems long enough.

I'm really upset with myself.

DO NOT. And I mean DO NOT.

Try to cheer me up or encourage me just for the sake of it.

If you really can't be bothered with me, then just don't bother.

Coz even I myself despise people who rants and emo and when others offer some encouragement they just say they're fine.

Even though I'm a complete example of these people.

At least I only complain here. Where not much people come, right?

I'm not attracting attention. I'm really just looking for a platform to vent my frustrations on.

To be honest, no one even has to read this super long post coz I know it will be damn long.

And it wasn't even suppose to be read in the 1st place.

I shall post a warning above. *scrolls back up*

Frankly speaking, I've been trying to lose weight.

I'm really going to be honest here so don't mock at me.

People should stop looking down on and mocking at fat people.

But still, I think it'll be better to lose some weight.

I bet you think so too.

I can forever remember the FAT nurse telling me to lose weight during the health check-up in school.

I know I just said not to look down on fat people but,

That nurse told me to lose weight even though i think she's twice my weight ._.

I mean like,

I believe you wouldn't trust the words of a doctor that smokes right?

Anyway, believe me that I really did my best.

I even woke up straight and changed into exercise clothings, but

老天爷就是不作美

It rains ALL DAY LONG.

What can I do?

I tried to record down the calories of what I eat.

But...(You don't really have to guess what the outcome was from my character)

Ok, I'm a bit embarrassed to be disclosing this here.

Haha, I can really be laughing at myself right now.

Just now I went crazy and indulged myself in food that I don't even remember clearly.

So I'm currently having a stomachache.

I should be happy.

Coz I feel like I'm constipated recently.

But then I feel like this is gonna be a diarrhea...

Not good timing.

This is a weird ending but still thank you for finish reading this naggy post whoever you are.

I'm seriously impressed by your patience.

If you only skipped to this last sentence then don't come anymore.

I'm especially bad-tempered when blogging so give me my respect.

Coz if you didn't spend time trying to understand me and just wanted to be nosy,

since it's all my true and genuine feelings and frustrations,

You are now officially blacklisted by me.

It's ok, I'm a kind person,

You have a second chance.

Go back and read thoroughly and I'll forgive you.

Don't want to go through this torture again?

Then don't come anymore.

I'm being genuine here.

To my caring readers, Thank you and I love you! <3

Bye~

青春。

2011-12-04T03:42:00.001+08:00

Aren't we all young with energy right now?
In the period of our youth,
It's when we get to enjoy endless privileges.
Because we are still young,
We have tons of excuses to be wild.

Sometimes I think to myself,
Why do we have so much troubles, woes, problems,
When we're still so young?
And while we should be enjoying our youth,
Why bother brooding over small things that when you grow up and look back,
You'll start laughing at yourself for being so silly to waste your youth over problems that aren't problems.
Because we should have been having fun.

Youth is when we can do all the crazy things we want,
And not be embarrassed about it at all.
We can smile and laugh like nobody's business,
Because we are young and have the right to.
So why emo over stupid things like betrayal in friendships, relationships or whatever YOU, A YOUTH, are emo-ing about right now.
We have to look past it.
We have to forgive.
We have to forget.
Because the only way to solve these troubles, is to not think of them as a trouble at all.
And they really aren't counted as troubles.
For people as young as us,
What do we know?

We are YOUNG.
Our youth is neither long nor short.
So just do anything you want.
You don't want to regret when you grow up.
Because we can never return to this time after it has past.
Cheer up and be the youth you are!
Be crazy, get scolded and be forgiven.
We should live a happy youth (:

Don't catch me if you can't.

2011-11-29T03:00:00.001+08:00

I don't dare to face the truth.
The truth is..
I'm always running away.
Even though I don't know where I'm running to,
I'm still running.
Because at least I know,
When I'm running,
My heart is beating fast.
I'm here, I'm living.
It feels like an excuse to run away.
But I'll still run.

And the other truth is..
I hate running.
I wish someone would just catch me.
So I can stop running.

It's ok.
I'm happy right now.
As long as I keep running.
If I stop and look around,
I'll see that there is no one around to catch me.
That thought and realisation is just too painful to bear.
So I'll keep running.

I don't hope for anything. I really don't.
I don't need anyone's sympathy.
So if you catch me and won't keep me,
I'm afraid I won't even have the heart to run away anymore.
I won't hurt anyone. So don't hurt me.
But to say all these, is quite shameless, isn't it?

Don't catch me if you can't.

BYE D:

2011-11-19T00:00:00.001+08:00

L is for the way you look at me

O is for the only one I see

V is very, very extraordinary

E is even more than anyone that you adore

TONIGHT

Was happy and sad.

Happy because I had fun.

Happy because of someone.

Happy because it was a beautiful night.

Sad because it was over just like that.

Sad because of someone.

Sad because nothing changed.

Some regrets remained but here's my new motto:

"Whatever you have done, never regret

it. Else you'll be even more pitiful."

In case you want to know my old motto, here it is:

"I will never waste food in my whole

life."

It's still my important motto though :D

Haiz.. Seriously when you know true unhappiness, there's nothing you can really say about it.

Still, after graduating and moving,

I'll start a new happy life~!^^

I can't think of a title that doesn't make me seem emo and fits what i'm gonna say ._.

2011-11-16T01:45:00.003+08:00

DON'T LOOK.

I can never be able to say anything.
It's really tiring and sad.
Whatever I say will be useless anyway.
And everything I say just seem to be wrong.
So I end up just not saying anything.
I don't want to purposely seem like I'm attracting attention.
I don't want to gain sympathy either.
So I just keep quiet.
I don't think my issues are too worthy of attention anyway.
I'm just always ranting and complaining.
Even I despise myself.
I seriously think I'm so fake ._.
But what I'm saying here now is real.
Coz to say this much is actually a lot already.
I don't know what I want.
That's why it's better to keep quiet.

Why can't I tell anybody anything? It's frustrating.
:x

I'll give my best shot in believing now.

2011-10-07T21:51:00.001+08:00

FOR NOW, I'LL BELIEVE IN THE

PRESENT.

FOR NOW, I'LL CONCENTRATE

ON MY STUDIES.

FOR NOW, I'LL WORK HARD

TO MY HAPPINESS.

To everyone out there, the most important thing is:

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

Believe in the happiness you have now,

And more will come to you.

If you don't believe it,

It'll never cross paths with you.

I believe in you (:

What The Sh*t.

2011-09-17T19:28:00.002+08:00

WARNING : RANTS AHEAD.

Why does my life suck so much?

Ok, maybe it doesn't suck that much.

I just kind of, maybe..No, ABSOLUTELY don't enjoy my life at the current moment.

Hey, at least I didn't say I hate it.

Actually, the pressure of 'O' levels isn't even the most significant reason as to why I don't enjoy my life right now. (Like SS huh?)

It is actually ____________ that's the reason. (Secret, tell you also won't believe. And it's way too much fuss and just not part of my character.)

Seriously suck ttm.

I mean why?

I didn't even do anything.

Or maybe because it's PRECISELY I don't do anything that's why this is happening to me.

Upset.

Can you imagine the psychological impact?

It's what that really influence humans the most since they are such emotional creatures.

Am I just making a big fuss out of nothing?

YES, I KNOW.

I NEED TO GET A LIFE.

I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR.

I tell myself so MANY FREAKING SMILEY TIMES not to be so pessimistic about myself,

And keep looking at the HOLY, GODLY BRIGHT side.

Except,

There's really not much bright sides to look at.

I guess I must seem like I'm too strong that I can just take so many blows all the time,

That people think I'm just fine handling myself alone.

NO.

I wish people would be sensitive to me too.

Even if it's 7.21pm now and not 11.11,

I don't care and

GOD, I'M WISHING, PRAYING, I WANT TO ATTRACT SENSITIVITY.

I think I sound kind of like a mad case in this post.

I can't really find someone who can connect with me and for me to confide in.

I'm just such a sad, lonely person dying alone.

I really want to just cry about all these but people would probably think I'm weird for having these thoughts.

Bless me for the rest of my WTS life.

Irony of the day : 我伤心不起来。

YES, I KNOW I NEED TO GET A LIFE SO SHUT UP WILL YOU?

ALLOW ME THE RIGHT TO DESTRESS, THANK YOU?

Didn't really mean to be rude, but sorry for all the caps I've been typing.

一个人。

2011-08-26T22:36:00.001+08:00

Lonely.
Humans can't stand loneliness.
They can't stand facing the world alone.
Even if they can,
It's impossible for them to like loneliness.

Am I lonely? Or not?
To be truthful,
Loneliness can happen too if you imagine too much of it.
It's not like I want to,
But I feel that there's this wall that's forever barring me from others.
I seek protection from this wall,
Yet I hate it so much.

I feel like I'm such a weakling.
I get sad easily.
I get happy easiy.
I get hurt easily.
That's why the wall is there.

I really am the only one who can help myself, isn't it?
I find myself to be a very contradicting person.(In many ways.)

Perhaps, someday, I would be able to build a door in my wall.
And the people who are willing to break this barrier will meet me there.
And I would be willing to unlock the door for them.
I wish there is someone whom I can run to hug when I'm lonely (:
I really prefer using this boring format to write my posts :P

难道你还不够了解我吗？

2011-08-13T23:21:00.001+08:00

Is understanding another really measured by the quantity of time spent together?

Even if you know someone for 10 years,

You may not understand him at all.

But sometimes, within just a minute,

Someone you don't even know can understand you already.

I don't understand you.

You don't understand me.

When both of us hide from each other.

When we have secrets.

When we want to protect ourselves.

Do you call someone you understand,

And someone who understands you,

a soulmate?

I think,

You'll really understand someone else,

If you really care for him or her.

Because if you don't, you'll try your best to understand.

But, do you understand yourself?

Because you don't seem to care for yourself.

Wonderland.

2011-08-04T23:36:00.002+08:00

Instead of wishing for a Prince Charming who rescues me on a white horse,

In my dreams,

It was a merman who dived in to save me when I was drowning.

Even though I rewinded the scene in my dream many times,

I could not see his face.

2nd place.

Never 1st.

When it comes to prioritising,

I never seem to stand an important place.

BULLYING.

Excuse me? Do I seem like a suitable target for you to vent your frustrations on?

Am I so entertaining that you keep taking my nice tempers for granted?

I may be laughing,

But actually I was broken inside.

It hurts more when I'm already upset and you don't notice,

You just keep on irritating me.

I'm human, not a tool, not a punchbag, not your entertainment device.

When I do nothing wrong,

Don't take everything out on me.

Why are you achieving happiness as a result of another's sadness?

IGNORE.

A world of my own,

Where only I, myself live in.

No one enters and I do not leave.

Lost.

2011-07-22T21:30:00.005+08:00

Are you lost?

Lost sight of your goal?

Met a dead end?

Felt miserable facing everything alone?

I don't know if I am able to make any sense, but...

Don't think that you are lost.

Think that you just haven't been able to find your goal yet.

Even if you take a longer time than others,
Persevere on.
When you're lonely,
Look up at the sky that is still above you.
Think of the people you love, who lives just beneath that very same sky you see.
The sky will never abandon you.
Just as those who truly love you never abandon you.

There is never such a thing as a dead end.
Life goes on opening up new routes for you.
It matters whether you dare to take up the route.
Eventually the goal you've been trying to achieve will appear before you,
Even if you had never expected it.

Don't ever close off yourself.

If you hide, if you stop, if you only cry,
You'll never be able to discover new routes,
Never be able to notice the sky that had been comforting you all along.
And the goal forever stays at the place you can't reach.

At least, cry after you've done your best. You didn't let yourself down.

Shed tears of joy instead.
Cry knowing that you've achieved what you've always been chasing.
Coz you once thought you could never reach it.
Yet it is now in front of you.
The entrance to your dream.

I am actually enouraging myself.
I WILL PICTURE MY SUCCESS,

AND SHAPE IT INTO REALITY.

Add one more person who loves you under our common sky. Because I love you.

Detached.

2011-07-17T00:44:00.003+08:00

Reminds me of the sky at Nepal.

I feel... kind of detached.
Detached from others.
I am here, I am with them.
But I feel like I just can't mix in.
It's been like this for a long time.
Just like between sky and earth,
Between life and death,
Between the good and the bad,
I'm in the space in between.
I can go either side,
But neither side would accept me as a whole.
That space,
Is small, cramp, lonely, dull.

It's not like I'm grumbling about being left out all over again.
Coz I've really become open-minded already.
I didn't think much about it anymore.
That's why my posts lately is just random stuff.
Coz without the moodswings, I realise I have nothing to talk about.

It's just that I kind of feel that I'm not from this world.
Not meaning I'm an alien or anything.
Maybe I'm born in the wrong year? or even the wrong era?
Coz I really can't blend in.
Someone teach me how please?

Scold me in the face if you feel like doing so. I want to scold myself too.

Drifter.

2011-07-16T00:02:00.005+08:00

^My desktop screen :D

I lost my drawing book + pencil + eraser.
Haiz..
So the saying "You'll only know how to cherish after losing." is true.
I realise my drawing book is the other source where I can vent my feelings on.
And without my only pencil and eraser, I can't draw either ._.
So I haven't been drawing for a whole week.
And I've been using other people's stationery for prelim a whole week.

Ok, enough of boring stuff.

I feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind wanting to start again.
Ok, I don't really feel like plastic bag.
But it's just an analogy ok?
Don't understand why people make fun of this part of the lyrics.
Coz this analogy is really true.

I feel like I've been leading a pretty aimless life.
Everyday is just 走一步，算一步。
I realised I didn't plan for my future.
But time doesn't stop just for me.
I DO have a dream.
But it's really near unattainable.
And I don't have the courage either.
Even the most basic of my studying well, I can't do it.
What can I say?
Complacency.
Well having lived almost 16 years,
I realised time really flies by so fast.
It can be kind of cruel.
Can you believe it?
5 more years and I'll be 21.
An adult already.
Not really sure if I'm ready to step into adulthood. Are you?

I just hope when I'm finally an adult and I look back at these posts.
I'll laugh and say that the me now is so cute for worrying so much.
Haha.
I remind myself not to be so stressed up or worry too much.
Or else I'll get wrinkles easily when I grow up xD.
Oh well.
ANTI-AGING!(Y)

像流星陪伴着夜空。

2011-07-08T20:28:00.004+08:00

Ok, this post will be a random post.
Fantasizing about..... an EATING SPREE!
My newly-added goal : Travel around SG trying out different food.
My newly-added dream : Travel around the world with my husband trying out different delicacies.

So who wants to join me? ^^
Can at least reach my goal for now after O's (:
We can then arrange another trip to exercise around SG to lose fat xD

Don't know why, but I'm thinking a bit far into the future this year.
You know what I'm really looking forward to?
Not the time after O's,
Not when I finally graduate from school life,
Not when I achieve my dream job,
It's when I retire and can relax everyday of my life with my husband xDD

Ok I guess from this post, you can roughly guess I want a husband a lot ;P
But saying that, I still don't really want a husband so soon.
Maybe when I'm 30?
I have hopes for my husband u know?
Coz I dream of a loving family ^^

Well, like I said, this is a random post.
Bye for now (:

LISA's Profile (:

2011-07-03T20:12:00.006+08:00

Hi Peeps! Would like to go for a change in my blogging content.
So today, I'll be bringing up a few facts about myself to share with you :D
Since maybe what you know about me on the surface is not the real me inside.
Hope you will enjoy knowing more about me ^^

FACT #01.
I'm polite towards people I'm not familiar with but go crazy with people I'm SUPER familiar with.

Ok, it was slightly exaggerated. I don't really ride on them ok?
Because sometimes I may look cold on the outside when I'm around people I don't know,
I seem like I got attitude.
It's just that I feel really awkward and somemore my personality is actually the shy(Not faking it la) type de,
So I don't know how to make friends at first.
But once you get to know me better,
I'll show you my warmest friendliness~ :D (Don't worry, I won't ride on you.)

FACT #02.
I'm a HEAVY sleeper.(No kidding)

Unfortunately, this is a TRUE story.
And it happened just 2 days ago. :P
No exaggeration at all.
I love sleeping ttm. Whether I sleep early or late, I will wake up late without fail.
There was once I slept at 11pm and woke up at 5pm the next day. Zai right?
Due to this habit of mine,
I think I'm starting to turn nocturnal ._.

That's it for today (:
Will do more of this kind of posts in the future.
But I will still continue posting moodswing posts de ^^

A Year Without Rain

2011-06-22T22:31:00.005+08:00

Currently trying to be braver (:
I want to be more open-minded, happier, more confident.
Bet it was because I've been so negative lately thus instead of the situation improving,
I ended up attracting more negativity.
Have you heard of "The Law of Attraction"?
I read it in a storybook and thought it was made up,
But seems like many actually knows about it.
Coz the law deems "like attracts like".
So I must toughen up and be more optimistic.
Hopefully, I will attract more positivity. xD
But I must admit thinking like this makes me less stressful.
And I can feel like I'm getting over the depression.

I can't achieve everything in life.
As long as I tried.
What others have and I don't have,
Is the same as me having what others don't have.
I'll accept being the supporting role for now,
Even if it is just a supporting role, I also have to excel in it.
I believe, one day, that main role will be me.

I just wish I can maintain this mindset for long,
And not just turn into another moodswing.

Music accompanies me (:

UGHHHH!!!!!

2011-06-15T23:07:00.002+08:00

I HATE YOU.
How can you be so indifferent?
You weren't like that in the past.
So why did you change?
I'm sick of your half-hearted feelings.
It's really cruel to me you know that?
You gave me hope yet crushed it to pieces, again and AGAIN.
I know I don't mean ANYTHING to you at all.
You have no idea how hurt I was.
You seriously have no idea...
I really want to slap you in the face to wake you up.
But I still need you.I don't know if I should call those half-hearted feelings of yours cruelty or kindness.
Make a choice will you?
If you don't care for me then don't be nice to me if you're reluctant.
I don't need your sympathy.

Hello.
I don't know what to say to you.
I love you, but talking to you is so stressful.
Even now when I'm typing, I think of our conversations.
I want to tell you I seriously couldn't care less.
I'm breaking down...

I'm breaking down.

Love keeps going on.

2011-06-14T20:36:00.002+08:00

A few days back when i listened to a song,
The lyrics said :
曾经爱过痛过哭过笑过都是种精彩.
And then I realised,
Love,
Is the biggest power one can have in the whole universe.
Nothing can defeat it,
Nothing else can win over it.
Isn't that true?
Coz if you ever thought of this, like for example :
Compare yourself with others less fortunate than you before complaining.

But, the poorest person in the world can be even happier and fortunate than the richest person in the world.
Even during tough times, as long as there is love,
We are still happy and contented.
As long as we have love,
We will have a way to go on.
Those without love will just be living like empty shells.
So when you compare yourself with the less fortunate,
You compare the love,
Not materialistic things, not even health.

Because not all of us can achieve love,
That's why some can only try to achieve what's the closest.
I just need someone to be here. And stay with me without swaying.

Sunshine of love.

2011-06-07T22:54:00.003+08:00

I'm bottling things up. But no one wants to hear them.
Or to be truthful,
Everytime, I imagine someone coming up to me, wanting to help,
I realise I'll get too scared to let them get close.
I think that i'm an introvert.
I have many self-conflicts.
They may not be important to you, but they are to me.

Recently, I'm tired.
Mentally tired.
Really, I am.
I keep telling myself,
My thinking is wrong,
I have to be positive like I have been forever.
Talking to myself in my mind.
Self-motivating.
I find myself to be so pathetic.
I may seem like a 身在福中不知福 teenager in the stage of puberty,
And experiencing all these mood swings and emotions are normal, which i am.
But don't you think humans are like that?
They experience and sense all the things they don't want to.
But they can't sense anything they want to and have.
And they are only aware of the things they don't have or the things that make them unhappy,
They can't help but complain, and push away the good sides of everything.
I'm like that.
If instead of concocting logical explanations and solutions,
Following your heart is the common way,
Then how come all I can see is the negative place my heart is leading me to?

I'm bottling things up. That's why this is the only place i feel i can vent my frustrations on.
Anywhere else I feel exposed.
Because any reader of mine here, is scarce.
But even more than that, you stayed on my posts,
For what i hope is coz you're concerned.
But while i may be saying all this,
I might actually be talking to a wall.

Bored.

2011-05-30T22:16:00.003+08:00

I wish someone would talk to me ._.

Maybe I myself am too boring to talk to.

Just entertain me :D

I'll try my best to make myself interesting to talk to xD

But please be patient with me coz maybe in the beginning I'll have like nth to say.

However, once I get to know you more and get comfortable with you,

I'll have A LOT to say xD (or crap to be precise ;P)

So, just try to talk to me ><

Do it for charity~ :D

Need.

2011-05-26T21:18:00.003+08:00

I've never had such low self-esteem my whole life.
I do get emo sometimes, but that's just me wallowing in self-pity.
I seriously feel demoralised.

WHY AM I LIKE THIS?

It feels horrible bottling everything up.
But there's no one who wants to hear me.
Just listen and don't ask anything.
Maybe it's coz they can feel how much of bad feelings I'm having.
Yup, it's good they chose not to be burdened by them.

Even though the world is spinning everyday,
Even though time ticks by like nobody's business,
I can only think of walking slowly...
I silently wish that the world and time can freeze.

My real self is not what you can see.
Though you can get a hint from my posts.
Since it's where I have exposed my inner self the most.
But it's still far from it.

Well, most probably won't show their real self easily either.

I need someone who needs me.

So perhaps I won't feel left behind.

I kind of wish I was alone.
Without needing to care for others' thoughts.
I do what I want, alone.

That's just a selfish thought.

心痛。

2011-05-21T01:04:00.004+08:00

I don't know if this is because I'm sad or happy.
Because of loving too much.
When you love too much,
You think a lot.
You get hurt for the slightest thing.
Even if it wasn't under your control at all.
But because you love too much,
You get happy for the slightest thing.
Even if you were not treated nicely as much as poorly.
Do you know what's the opposite of love?
It's not hate for sure.
For me, it's hurt.
You love, you get hurt.
But you want to love, so you are fine with being hurt.

Our hearts aren't vast enough.
It isn't able to tolerate all.
But when love expands it,
It can continue on even when it's bleeding too much.
And it goes on to the place without limits.

Ugly Duckling.

2011-05-09T22:13:00.003+08:00

The duckling waddles around with the rest.
She seems to be a part of them,
Yet she does not.
She seems to have a place,
Yet she does not.
No place to go, no one to be with.
She struggles to find the place that would welcome her.
She clings on tight to anybody,
Wishes from the bottom of her heart that she would not be abandoned.
Perhaps this is my life, she thought.
I just need to follow them.
But she doesn't know that this is not happiness.
One day, she got tired of following others.
She tried straying off,
Perhaps they would recognize the importance of her presence.
But when she left,
A peek was all she needed,
Because they were obviously having fun by themselves,
Totally unaffected by her absence.
Wiping away strong yet fragile tears,
She takes a step on the path to the journey of solitary.
In the original story,
She finds her true family and the place where she belongs.
But this duckling never seem to find them.
She continues travelling alone,
In search of that happy ending which would never come across her path.

101.

Love is a train, we wait for it even when it's gone.

2011-05-01T22:20:00.005+08:00

Today is the 1st May. :D
No inspiration today.
And I don't want to just cook up a half-hearted post,
So no content for this post :P
Just wanted to have my 1st post in May on the 1st xD

LALALA.

说不出的心疼。

2011-04-27T20:06:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I'm afraid I'm not expressive enough,
That you won't be able to understand how much I care for you.
I wish and hope you know that I'll love you no matter what.
I have an awkward personality,
So I am actually very concerned about you even though I appear to be cold.
When I look at you doing so much for us,
My heart feels crushed.
When I look at you doing everything alone,
Look at you pushing that heavy trolley over a long distance home,
I tear up unconsciously.
When you left,
I only know how to mutter 'uhm.' to everything you say,
And say a simple 'Bye bye'.
I know you're happy now,
And I'm also happy for you.
But I can't help but feel we both still need each other very much.

Merry Go Round.

2011-04-24T22:12:00.003+08:00

The rain pours down endlessly.
The cool, chilly rain,
Continues to fall, refusing to let up,
Almost as if it's sustaining my feelings
I've always found your gentle back easily on any day,
But where do my winding feelings point to?
I wonder what do you see before you?
We keep running
And it seems like we'll make it, but we don't.
Just like that.

The rain continues to fall softly.
A slightly lonely rain,
Pours all around me,
As if it's meant to soothe my heart.
I'm always looking at your back,
But these winding feelings point me in the other direction.
What's waiting for me at the end of my search?
We keep on running
And it seems like we'll catch up, but we don't
Just like that.

We keep on running
And it seems like we'll make it, but we don't.
Just like that.

It's my favourite song from a show i like ^^

What can I do?

2011-04-21T22:38:00.003+08:00

What can I do if you don't trust me? Don't believe me?
Am I so incredible?
Or to put that aside.
I feel abandoned.
Like a ragged doll.
I'm just a 跟屁虫 right?
I'm just someone beside you that you can just take for granted.
I'm disheartened.
No one can see it when i'm being sincere or trying my best to cheer them up.
It's like I spent so much effort,
Doing my best not to make a fuss,
But nothing's ever going to change.
Just thinking about it,
My throat tightens and my eyes feels like they're being pricked by a thousand needles.
I've always felt like I'm something extra.
It doesn't matter even if I'm not there.
Not like anyone notices anyway.

To you,
It makes me upset when you don't tell me anything anymore.
Suddenly, you're so cold.
Is it because the distance between us grew unconsiously?
Because I was stupid and didn't know you were taking a step back from me slowly everytime?

I'm standing in a street among so many people,
They just walk past me doing their own things.
My world starts to turn a shade of grey and freezes.
No one is here.

The fish can fly, the bird can swim.

2011-04-19T21:13:00.003+08:00

Not much inspiration but still would like to post something :P

No matter how impossible our dreams are,
No matter how many various obstacles are obstructing our paths,
No matter how disadvantaged we are,
Hold on to your dream,
Give all your best to it,
The dream you've been riding on,
Would eventually bring you to the reality you dreamt about.

Well, at least that's what I've been obstinately believing in.
I have this impossible yet possible dream and wish.
But I feel so strongly for it, I just couldn't give up.
Though I don't even know how exactly I'm going to strive for it.
Chances definitely don't just drop down from the sky.
How many times I've been imagining my future,
It seemed so real yet seemed like a fantasy.

I'm going to keep this blog for years and years.
So when my dream finally comes true,
I'll definitely share my happiness with all of you here xDD.
That's,
Another thing I'm imagining in my future ;P
Did you purposely always make me confused again whenever I just decided to give up?

过客。

2011-04-16T22:20:00.006+08:00

Have you ever walk along a street, been on a bus or come down on an escalator,
And saw someone you've known in the past?
But you are no longer close with that person,
It seemed more like you had just passed by a stranger just like how you would everyday.
Just, with a hint of familiarity.
So you see that person, wonder if he remembers you too.
Thinking back how you've known him.
Then realise, back then, you had never really been that close anyway.
Maybe he had also seen you and he remembers you.
But after all these years, we became even lesser than acquaintances.
And couldn't even say 'hello'.
But isn't this for the best?
We had lived healthily and carried on with our individual lives.
Whether or not in the future we will meet and become acquainted again,
Or we'll really gradually turn into strangers,
For now, we know the other had lived well.
For now, let us be strangers,
Let that already limited memories of both of us be buried in the back of our minds.
Isn't that what we do when you know this person for a short period of time,
And never contact each other again?

Read that an average person can meet up to 100,000 people in a lifetime.
So you're one person in that 100,000 people,
I choose to forget your existence or make you an important person in my life.
You choose to forget my existence or make me an important person in your life.
I feel that everyone only has that limited number of people that you can keep close to your heart.
Do you feel that the world is big now?

Half a full circle is the symbol of my happiness.

2011-04-14T21:23:00.004+08:00

Hello~
For the past few months,
Wondering and confusing myself,
Because i don't know what to do with these budding feelings.
It's really amazing when before i never even looked twice at you.
But it came so quick and sudden, when you started to fill up my world.
My imagination? My delusions?
Well, I was happy thinking of you though.
Initially, i had my doubts.
I had to forget you, disallow you to affect me so much.
I know you won't become important in my life and neither will I be in yours.
So i had to make you unimportant.
Seemed like it worked. Yet maybe it didn't.
Seems like you have a lesser impact on me now,
Yet whenever i passed by you or when you passed by me,
My hair stands, my back straightened unconsciously, my heart skipped a beat.
Before, I wouldn't have been able to stand it.
Stand how you are invading the space in my heart.
But now, it just feels like all these feelings that are there,
Are to brighten up my day, though sometimes also sullen it.
Well, having these feelings aren't bad too?
If i think of them as a source of happiness? ^^

:P Surprising? Shocking? Funny?
It's true i feel this way.
Who knows? Maybe while whoever is reading this now, you don't even know i'm actually talking about you? xD
I wait for an answer, yet i do not.
Of coz i know there's no answer.
Since the question was never asked in the first place.

Hypocrite.

2011-04-12T21:27:00.005+08:00

Hmmm~ Who shall i rant about today?
Who shall i make the subject of my post?
Who is the one i'm gonna call HYPOCRITE and lash out at?
Well, you dont have to guess.
Coz that person is me.

For quite a long time,
I've been thinking to myself,
I'm such a hypocrite.
Actually, i scream out in my head,
I don't like you! Yes, I'm jealous of you!
But somehow i feel,
What, why the hell, what kind of nasty and unpleasant person i've turned into?
Having all these negative feelings,
Saying things i don't mean,
Acting all arrogant,
Being absolutely obstinate and stubborn,
I'm just bottling all this up.
But hey, i'm not too bad either, right?
At least i know i'm actually such an irritable person.

I used to think, I must be the world's most blindly optimistic and clueless person.
And i didn't dislike that actually.
Coz i feel that tomorrow will be a better day,
I'm still going to live on happily no matter what.
But now,
Even these positive feelings began flowing out of me.
I can't believe i'm being so pessimistic about things now.
I don't even have the strength to feel positive even for a few seconds.
I remembered once, when i said that the good point about me is being optimistic.
Even that good point which i thought so hard of to say out, is lost of me.

I do a lot of things i should be ashamed of, and i AM ashamed of them.
Always trying to change, in the end,
A hypocrite like me just couldn't.

Ugh, i seriously need to get a life.
Not that i actually really want one anyway.
Can't seem to be able to say goodbye.

LaLaLa.

2011-04-10T16:16:00.002+08:00

I feel like i'm playing the keys of a piano when I'm typing on my keyboard. ^^
I have a secret wish : To be able to cry of joy on my birthday.

Stepping down.

2011-04-10T13:19:00.004+08:00

I've never ever been more clearer in what i want to say in my titles.
Yes, it's stepping down.
'Ve been procrastinating this post for a few days now.
I guess, it's really when you're about to leave all the fun & people that you start to realise.
Realise how real the separation is.
Realise how real all those memories were.
Realise how much you had actually love and cherish everything.
That's why they must have said,"You'll only realise what's important to you when you lose them.".
One day a week, 2hrs a week, even a long 6mths break.
But as time passes, it's already 4 years.
Never really thought being with you all is such a memorable time.
Laughing together, going crazy together, getting angry together, crying together, going home together, not a big family, but a cozy, warm family.
Sometimes we may feel unfair, but isn't it our mutual understanding for each other tht counts?
I just know, I'll be really sad yet not regret anything.
I'll always remember, every single one of you.

I ♥ YOU ALL~ x)

Farewells.

2011-04-04T21:35:00.003+08:00

Goodbye.
Hahas, a weird way to start a post with this greeting, isn't it?
Well, i'm not going anywhere though.
In our lives, there were many hellos, as well as goodbyes.
If we begin our journey from acquaintances, to friends, to close friends, maybe some even to lovers, or even a partner, with the very basic 1st 'Hello.'
Does it mean it will all come down to an end with a 'Goodbye.'?
Farewells,
It just means, you, who were once living in my present,
Had moved to my past.
When we part, normally we wouldn't shed tears, wouldn't leave any lingering feelings,
thinking, tomorrow, we will see each other again.
But when a real farewell comes,
Would you be able to pluck up the courage to utter a simple phrase like 'Goodbye'?
Sometimes, maybe sometimes,
You wish you hadn't experience these experiences, shared memories with a person, wished you never knew them,
So they won't become so important, that when they leave,
You can only look at their parting backs with silent sadness.
But we can't really deny, we wouldn't have been much happier anyway without meeting them, would we?
'Goodbye', is it the end of a meeting, a beautiful memory?
Some things, when you lose them, you lose them forever.
Even if you want to go back, it just isn't possible anymore.

My mind runs like a video camera.
Flashes of memories runs like a film in my brain.
If only,
If only,
I could rewind it to a moment when i wish to live through again,
To laugh and smile so brightly like i had that time again,
I realised,
That smile i wish to show again,
Had been buried into the back of mind.
The present is different from the past.
And if you want a future that's different from your present,
That's for you to find out.
Just let my video camera continue running.
To capture all the moments i lived through.
Even if they were tears, regrets, frustration.
I just hoped,
The last picture of me,
The smile i wished for,
It would eventually find its way to me again.
Once a romantic, always a romantic.

Exhausted.

2011-04-01T20:28:00.006+08:00

YOU.
What can i say to you?
I know what i'm about to say now, is just because i'm a jealous idiot.
But you know what?
I'm still going ahead to be jealous and curse at you.
I really can't stand how you are always ahead of me.
Sailing through every moment briskly and smoothly,
While i'm left behind chasing after your back.
I can't stop running to catch up with you even though i want to.
Yet you can pause up front, have a tea and glance at me catching up to you with my useless efforts.
Maybe you had meant no malice actually.
But i can't help but think you're always mocking at me, taking advantage of me.
How come you can get everything you want just by a snap of your fingers?
I'm always being put down by you,
I really hate losing to you.
But it feels like i'm losing every single race.
You make no attempt to comfort me, not like i want you to anyway.
I feel like i'm being played around by you.
How tired is it for me to keep chasing after you?
This is so unfair.
I bet you don't even care about my existence.
Whenever i think about this,
I really feel so heartbroken.
I cared so much about you, trying to win over you, but i never even felt that i was an important rival to you.
But i can't even bear myself to hate you.

When we both had fun together,
Nothing else mattered in the world to me.
I can't help but feel betrayed.
Have i mattered to you at all?

Wish we'll always be connected.

2011-03-22T23:08:00.002+08:00

It's a dream for me.

Laksa♥
Stay strong, don't cry anymore.

Distance.

2011-03-19T21:21:00.005+08:00

Sometimes i can't help but think,
That i'm constantly used by you.
I'm just someone that you'll only look at,
When there is no one else.
Trampling on my genuine feelings,
It really is just a piece of cake for you, isn't it?
I feel so conflicted at the same,
And also hate myself for it.
Even though i know i mean nothing but perhaps a toy to you,
I can't leave you.
I feel so one-sided whenever i'm with you.
It's tiring and upsetting for me.
I don't know why,
When you're down or bored,
I still want to be there for you,
And be by your side,
Even if the next moment you'll leave me and go after someone else.
I keep scolding myself.
I'm a fool.

Yum.

Bloom.

2011-03-18T19:58:00.004+08:00

If something small..

Like a seed..
I'm sorry.
Has the potential to bloom into a big, healthy and beautiful flower,
Really sorry.
Would you give up all the time in your world to grow it?
I know i'm selfish.
No matter how much potential it has,
And inconsiderate.
No matter how beautiful you picture it to be in your mind,
But to be honest,
A seed, is a seed.
I think at least i didn't let myself down.
So, let me ask again.
If you asked me if i would do it again.
Would you give up all your time in the world,
My answer is yes.
To shower it with love, care and patience,
But to the innocent whom i have implicated,
To bloom this small little seed?
I know this hidden apology is shameless.
Would you put in the effort,
Believe me, i sincerely wanted to protect you.
To pursue what you wish for?
But it is out of my ability.
No matter how tough the journey it may be,
I hope you all can understand, this right i hope to keep,
Would you let this seed,
Once again, all i can give you is a sorry.
Bloom into that magnificent flower that it should be?

I LOVE EGGS!

LOL. This is so CUTE!
Even have the cartoon episodes x) Can be found on Youtube (:
Or this website below i suppose.
Go here : http://www.iloveegg.com/eng_index.htm
Most importantly can express my special love feelings towards EGGS! :D

I've been thinking constantly about how you treat
me and i keep thinking about is it just me,
Or actually we feel the same? I've considered so much whether or not to
face my feelings. I really like you, even more than my constant love for food.
Would you accept me please?
:P

ROFL!!! YOU HAVE JUST BEEN TRICKED!!! I appreciate that maybe you had wanted to confess to me too. But read the last word of each sentence to form a new sentence :D

Crooked-forward.

2011-03-13T23:40:00.004+08:00

Can't help but feel happy.
How do i descrbe this feeling?
Even though this happiness is temporary.
I really feel contented enough already.
Right.
Who am i to be kidding?
It's really hopeless.
Actually, i'm so sad.
I'm so sad because this happiness is temporary.
I'd rather i'd not be happy than to be tortured by this short-lived happiness.
Now i can't get myself out of it anymore.
It's like i'm completely absorbed in it.
I never knew this can affect me so much.
That night was everything.
That night pushed me to the place i'll never easily get out of.
And i fell...
But i'm still in denial right now.

I really really really can't control my emotions well.
I can never be honest.
I'm just too scared.
Even when i'm hurt, i still try to hide it.
Sometimes i wonder if it's because i overanalyse things.
But i feel so abandoned.
I don't know why.
It feels like i'm being betrayed.
I don't like how your significance in my heart is growing.

TAT.

2011-03-07T22:20:00.007+08:00

EMO.
Well, i said before that i hate emo ppl and emo stuff..
But yeah, right now i'm emo-ing.
Again.
Even though people may dream of standing on top of the world,
And screaming your lungs out, "It's a beautiful place!"
But, the fact that reality is ugly as it is,
I think i don't blame people for being emo anymore.

Very upset, and demoralised.
Think the simple way and you'll know why.
It's so obvious what i'm upset about.
I think i really need to pull myself together.
Hahas, is this phrasing correct?
Coz it makes me think of tying my shoelaces.
To pull tightly the shoelaces together,
So that the next time i walk,
I won't fall because of loose shoelaces.

Negative feelings are piling up.
Yet, being the simple & overpositive person i am,
The negative feelings crumble and i become happy again because of food,sleep and play :D
Maybe that's why i never learn.
Being too positive is also a sad thing ._.

Stressed.
Hate it when responsibilities are on me.
To be honest, i'm not a leadership kind of person.
I never thought that it suited me anyway. This kind of job.
I just think that, i'm just more suited to be the one who follows after all.
Since no one seems to really follow me at all.
It just makes me feel worse when i'm forced to take on responsibilities.
I still have to face it in the end anyway.
I have to make the best out of it so i can learn of my limits.
But still, i'm scared.
I'm a coward, i don't deny it.

Oh i know i'm being negative la.
But sometimes people like me just have to confront ourselves,
And sort things out internally.
Putting myself down doesn't really mean coz' i'm all gloomy and wants people to sympathise me.
Frankly, i don't really like unnecessary sympathy and those kind of half-hearted consolation stuff.
But i'm still appreciative when people encourages me and put in effort to make me feel better :P
I have too many internal conflicts ._.

Random: I realised when i'm embarassed, i would LOL. xD
I saw the dinosaur shake and milo ice cream at Mac. I want to try! ♥

Today's weather suit my mood today perfectly...

2011-03-04T18:40:00.014+08:00

Another one of my favourite topics today~ :D
It's about my current obsession ^^

It's everyone's favourite MILO!
Milo is a chocolate and malt powder which is mixed with hot or cold milk to produce a beverage which is popular in many parts of the world.

A sudden craze over it coz i wiki-ed it out of boredom xD

Many people drink milo.
I love the malt in the milo :D
My favourite is ice milo though there is also the hot milo.
But i can never forget the hot milo that Fiona bought me when there was once i had a bad stomachache in school.
It's the best hot milo i've ever drunk.

I don't really like pre-packaged milo.
Those packets and cans one.
Coz it's a bit too sweet for me, when i drink sweet things i will get sian and want to puke after that.
The best is still the one that i make myself xDD

Let me teach you how to make "Lisa's Special Homemade Ice Milo♥" :
Step 1: Half-fill your mug with water and microwave it for 1-2min.(coz i no boiling water ._.)
Step 2: Pour in the milo-powder.(3-in-1 packets recommended. Mine is Milo FUZE xD)
Step 3: Stir the mixture well and make sure the powder dissolves fully.
Step 4: Put in as many ice as you like.(Ideally near the brim)
Step 5: Mix well and let most of the ice melt so you have the adequate volume of milo to drink.
Step 6: ENJOY~! ^^
(Whole recipe except powder copyrighted by LISA.)

I can make it for you it you want xD Lisa's delicious milo with LOVE.
50c per cup :D

And due to enjoying milo, i started experimenting different ways of drinking it.

1) The 1st i tried was making a normal cup of cold Milo and microwaving it for 60 seconds. Which wiki claimed that "This gives the Milo drink a biscuity cover on top." Though i really don't feel that it has a difference from cold milo before microwave. Or is it coz microwave not long enough or my milo too cold? xD

2) I tried directly mixing the milo powder with cold milk. Reminds me of the days when i was making cold chocolate milk in my job at the cafe. But it proved that milo+cold milk is too different from chocolate milk. I think part of the prob also lies with the milk,i think it might have started to go bad. It's gonna expire on 7 march 2011. That's the reason for my stomachache ytd x.x And it tastes damn sweet for some reason.

3) I directly mixed ice water with the powder. It tasted not much different from normal ice milo even though there is still powder undissolved. I think i mixed it too well xD

Next up, i hope i'm going to try milo dinosaurs and godzillas x)
Though i think that no matter how you drink milo, it'll always have that original chocolatey-malty taste ♥

The milo i drank today :D

Was bored la :P
Well, all these about milo actually doesn't mean that i LOVE milo that lot.
The feeling is like LIKE but also don't really like that much.
Kinda like my feeling for _________.
Still, MILO FTW~

QUESTION OF THE DAY!:
How many times have i written "milo" in this post? x)

Sad. Damn sad. Pek cek. Pissed off. Frustrated. Annoyed. DISGUSTED.
I feel so damn helpless.
It's suffocating.
It's so aggrieving that i really want to break down.
I really feel like crying man.
Someone tell me why this is happening.
Ugh.
Have you ever felt so distressed that you really don't know what to say but still feel like venting out all your anger even though it's really hard?
I don't know what i'm saying already.
I feel so dizzy thinking about it.
I really, really.
Feel so sad.
Can i cry?
efherhilasjkl;xvxc;lel;ner yl/bu 3/5yu <--- The result of banging on my keyboard.
Seriously, i'm damn PISSED off.
This is so unjust...

Wth. I wish you would just leave me in peace. Now i'm so conflicted.
Ans for QOD: 28 ;D

Totally DISGUSTED.

2011-03-03T20:41:00.003+08:00

Never knew i can hate a person so much.
Or to say this person disgusted me ttm.
Really, how can someone like that exist?
Every word you say makes me sick.
Everytime i see you i cringe.
You're an existence that repels me so much to the point of revolting.
Seriously, i think breathing the same air as you,
Really feels like i have caught a terminal disease.
The first time in my life,
Knowing such a person that exists makes me ill.
I tried hard to ignore you.
Ignore all of your actions since it's really none of my business.
But the more you reveal your colours and stupidity,
I just can't help but wanting to give you a damn tight slap.
Are you born to piss people off?
And can you just please STOP talking? Or crapping to be precise?
STOP farting through yor mouth.
Just SHUT UP.
Unbelievable, there's not only just one person who's like this.
Having to know you feels like my lifespan had shorten by a big part.
You SUCK.
Despise you ttm.

I have to erase you from my mind. I won't care about you anymore.♥

An achievement?

2011-03-02T19:24:00.003+08:00

My mind forgets to remind me,
You're a bad idea.
I'm on my guard for the rest of the world,
But with you,
I know it's no good.
- TS(Sparks Fly)

This year i am unbelievably lazy.
Really.
Cannot believe myself.
I sleep once i get home,
Then wake up for dinner,
Then slack slack slack until i feel like doing work.
But also ended up doing very little or nothing at all.
Then it's night time again :D

Well.. If there is no pressure from academics,
I would have enjoyed this life very much day by day. xP

♥your the PEANUT to my BUTTER ,♥

♥your the STAR to my BURST,♥

♥your the M to my M,♥

♥your the POP to my TART,♥

♥your the MILKY to my WAY,♥

♥your the FRUIT to my LOOP,♥

♥your the MILK to my DUDS,♥

♥your the LUCKY to my CHARMS,♥

♥your the ICE to my CREAM,♥

♥your the SWEET to my TART.♥

A sudden craze for cookies ♥

Abnormal kind of craziness.

2011-02-21T22:58:00.004+08:00

Actually i hadn't intend to post anything.
But since i'm here, let me just post smth.
Even though actually i might not hav much to say.

People are different in their own ways.
They become happy in their own ways.
That's why ther are psychopaths, emokias, ahbengsahlians and simple-minded people in the world.
Because, they achieve happiness in the ways they see fit for themselves.
Not like i care about how they want to be happy or anything.
I just wish they would just mind their own business.
And don't implicate other people in their mindless frolicking.
So, i myself, won't mind their businesses either.
Not really referring to anything in particular though :P

Staring through the clear glass,
I look at you smile so innocently.
My heart flutters at the same time,
And a smile formed unconsiously on my face.
If something as pretty as that appears so easily in front of me,
I'd just keep it and never let it out of my sight.
That is called possession.
Not going to let anyone have you is what i think.
Thinking being with me would be the best is what i think.
As long as you are there with me is what i think.
You might not share the same feelings is what i know.
And when i cry if you're not here is what you don't know.

I know i'm a stubborn person.
I just know that.
I know clearly my own flaws.
Not that it's easy to change or anything.
Hey, i think that i have a type of mental problem.
It's really weird.
I'll purposely like the things that other people like.
And try to compete with them.
And after getting the things i like,
I treat them coldly.
Like actually i didn't care about them in the first place.
I don't like you,
Yet i am still attached to you.
I like you,
Yet i just feel annoyed at you.
I think i am abnormal.
Really.
I don't think you understand what i'm saying.
But this is what i feel though.
Not that inspiring huh?

BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA
BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA
BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA
BLABLABLABLA

HA!TAKE THAT!

Stop reading ._. I feel embarassed now >w<
Well its just a distressing method for me (:

Hallucinations.

2011-02-17T20:01:00.002+08:00

I keep hearing the ringing of my phone for that msg.
I keep hearing that voice that calls out to me.
I keep spotting the figure of that familiar presence.
I keep imagining hopeless situations.
I keep feeling that there is something.
Just,
All of those were not true.
I must be so deep in it,
Coz i really don't know what is what anymore.

LAUGH.
Seriously, go ahead and just LAUGH.
Coz, you know what.
I feel like i'm a total joke right now.
Or perhaps i have always been so.
It's ok,
I allow you to laugh now.
Really don't what to say.
I can only sigh.
And this sigh make me age another 10 years already.

A BIG BIG BIG BIG BBBBBBIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGG APOLOGY.
I'm so sorry to readers of my blog.
Bet when you come here you just get a bad mood.
Must've really shown that i'm a spoilt girl that keeps complaining and with low self-esteem.
But.
Actually i don't really care what you think.
Coz this blog is MINE.

Purposely teasing me and pissing me off, right?

Memories.

2011-02-16T21:18:00.007+08:00

So true.
Hi ppl(:

Sob sob, when i listen to some music,
It makes me think about my past experiences and memories.
The song that links to that memory,
Kind of like the key to unlocking it,
And making me reminisce about it?
For example now,
I'm listening to 'Kick Ass' by Mika.
I really miss Nepal a lot. Even now.
It's been 3 months alr i think?
And it really feels like it just passed not long before xDD
Of course there were other songs that make me think about some precious moments.
Like when at that moment, i'm listening to this song.
So when i hear it again, I will think of that moment.
It makes me feel damn emotional when recalling these fond memories.

So, any songs to recommend? Kind of lacking songs to listen to currently.
Then, maybe i can have more keys to unlocking my memories x)

MUSIC ROX~

Today, when i reached my house carpark, i saw this couple and i thought the woman was Mrs Choo. But i was proven wrong when i realise the woman was much taller and wearing the shirt 'Finisher of 42.9km run' xDDD Sorry Mrs Choo, not meaning anything ;P

Highlight the following below:
HAHASXD THIS IS COOL. WILL YOU DIG OUT YOUR HEART IF I ASKED YOU TO GIVE IT TO ME? Lol, ok that was randomly thought up of. It doesn't mean anything. Pls don't do anything foolish.
That's fun :D Actually i did smth like that for some posts before.
See if you're lucky to find them coz they are my secret msges xD
Very personal de, so if you DO find them, i'd rather you not ask me anything about it ._.

Admire that moment slowly and take in everything with your own senses, before rushing to take it down with your camera. My brain will be the best camera i have (:

Rotate V clockwise 90deg & plus a 3.

2011-02-15T19:44:00.003+08:00

Hi everyone :D
Did you have a great valentine's?
Well i'm sure most of us did.
For both couples and singles.
Realised people became more enthu this year,
Valentine's gifts flooding everywhr xD
Seriously, like almost everyone is receiving a gift.
It seems more like everyone's birthday than it's Valentine's ^^
Thx to all who gave me a gift x) (thou i didn't give any ._. sry.)

QUESTION OF THE DAY!!!! :
How many hearts are you able to count from the picture above? :P
(Ans to be revealed at the end of post)

I think and think and think.
So tired to think.
My brain is not very bright u know ._.
I may seem smart :D (And actually i am)
But i just don't like to think about things so deeply.
Such troublesome chores D:<
However, some situations just force me to think so much ._.
And as i have to keep thinking,
It's just sad and frustrating.
Even though i know that i would never come by the answer,
I'm still thinking so much.
I don't want it yet i'm still torturing my brain.
Ignorance is such a blissful thing.
If i hadn't knew a thing, or knew such a feeling,
I would have lived so simply and peacefully.
Human's nature is such a weird thing.
I wish i could just be an animal.
Live to reproduce or get slaughtered for Man's food.
Such a simple, nice and short life :D
Or a tree is fine too.
Well, just saying, or now i want to be scolding:
Why can't YOU ever realise?
Ok i know i'm being unreasonable.

You don't see me, even though my eyes are always searching for you.
Ans:54 (YES. I counted myself. Coz i'm too bored xD I counted at least 5 times ok. Any argument over correct ans will be entertained on the tagboard :P)

Calling out.

2011-02-12T20:19:00.004+08:00

When i start to piece up everything,
Then did i come to the realisation,
That it will never work out for me.
I have been thinking and hoping for too much.
It's true that the higher your hopes are,
The greater the disappointment.
Even though i have been trying to suppress and restrain myself,
It feels like the greater the feeling becomes.
Even though my hopes are actually quite low,
I keep feeling even more disappointed each time.
Even though i told myself that i have to bear this hurt solely by myself,
And never to hurt the other anymore,
I'm still...
What can i say?
Just hopeless.

*****

HEY YOU!!! YES!! YOU!!! LOOK OVER HERE!!!

Ok, actually i'm just trying to catch your attention :D

Awww...Don't go away la..

Because i really like you so i'm calling you ma xDD

WTH. It's TRUE!! Break my heart )':

HahasxD. I forgive you :P

Hey.. Talk to me leh :O

About anything~~~ I just want to spend time with you x)

Coz i'm bored.. =3=

Who cares about homework? xDDD

I want to go overseas~ *_*

You want to come with me? xP

Ok la, also never say you must come D:

Are you bored? ._.

Of course no la! You talking to me leh xDD

WTH. Diao me again D:

Forgive once can, twice? Not so easy.

Treat me and i'll consider :D

Stingy~ =3= also never say you must treat me high-class expensive restaurant ;P

AHHHH!!! I didn't realise everyone can see our conversation here eh O_O

QUICK! Let's continue our convo on the phone, don't let them see the rest of our sweet-talking xD

Sms me at 9863**** ;)

*****

For the last time, I'm a NORMAL human being, I too have FEELINGS. And i'm not one who can always just take everything jokingly.

OMG! EGGS!(L) *w*

Back after CNY break (:

2011-02-07T19:12:00.010+08:00

Don't you ever wonder what is the right thing or the wrong thing to do?
Because have you ever noticed?
Only things that you do that makes people happy are ever acknowledged as the right thing to do.
Is that it?
So as long as what you do satisfy others, it is the correct thing to do?
I frequently struggled when deciding what to do is the best choice.
And often, i am at a total lost.
What expression should i show, what action i would take or not take at all.
In my opinion, there is actually no such thing that is either right or wrong,
It's just the matter of whether what you have done is acknowledged by others.
So,
Would you do something just because you want to please others?
Or to simply just do what you feel you should do?

WELCOME THE BITCH!!!! (L)

My aunt said she loves the clothing a lot and wouldn't want to take it off xD Dog also 爱美 de ok? :P

Actually she is very cute xDD
She greeted me so enthusiastically that she scratched my leg when i 1st stepped in to my aunt's house :P
Her name is Mario~ :D and is 2 years old.
She keeps jumping around like nobody business and keeps trying to lick me (Which i didn't allow her to.)
Overall, i can now understand why people like to keep pets xD

An advice to people who fear dogs :
Should try to interact with them more and you'll understand that they are really harmless creatures(provided you don't provoke them)
Coz at first when i stepped in the house,
I was also a bit afraid of it coz i've never really touch a dog or let it touch me before.
But soon, i realised it's really just a loveable cuddly animal.
So to people who fear dogs, Have a dog as a pet! :D

Why are the stars so far, far away?
So far that i could not rach or have them.
The star does not let me reach it,
Yet it still shines so brightly,
So attractive and purposely steals my heart.
Such a beautiful star yet with such cruelty.
A star that i can only silently gaze from an endless distance,
As i hoped and wished.

Bits and pieces.

2011-01-31T22:59:00.008+08:00

Drew this during EL lesson x) i nvr slack, is tchr ask us draw de D:
Hey, haven't you read abt this situation somewhr...? ;P

HEY!! Look at that^ What is it? My favourite EGG :D
I WANT "炸弹" IN MY RICE xD
GUESS WHAT'S 炸鸡?
IT IS 被炸弹炸的飞机 xDDD

On a bright peaceful Saturday morning,
I was having my nap while mummy tended to 4 young visitors.
Later on, i hear more people coming into the house.
It was very noisy but i still continued sleeping anyway.
Out of nowhere, some people started coming to my crib and poke at me.
"Damn this people, they bully me coz my arm's shorter and can't poke back at them."
Noise in the living room and i'm here sleeping...
I can't hear my sister though, should be at ah ma's house..
A hand went inside my crib, another played with the toy above my head.
"Hey this is my bed and toy, go somewhere else."
I opened my eyes and yawned.
I saw people taking pictures of me.
"I know i very cute la."
I smell food from the living room, it made me hungry too...
Let's cry.
Mummy fed me milk though the pizzas look delicious too.
Had dificulty breathing the whole time, but i feel safe in Mummy's arms.
The people there are really chatty, some lovey dovey. (Not as much as my daddy and mummy though)
Slept more and when i woke up, the people were gone.
Is this a dream?

忍着痛，坚持下去。

2011-01-30T20:21:00.003+08:00

Evolution of badges :D

:P

No doubt they'd be part of my most treasured collection. ^^

Leave behind the sadness.
Don't hesitate or sigh anymore.
Bring out your courage and make that step forward.
Be careful not to fall though.
Be clear of who your enemy and who your ally is.
When you get your support or get tripped,
It is still you, who has to take the action.
Make your own decisions and don't regret it.
Look at the sky.
Is it still that glaring blue?
Or the dark stormy sky?
No matter what colour it is,
It won't fall,
The sky continues being there with you.
The world continues changing.
Every vehicle is still passing by.
The honking, footsteps, music, babbling, beeping, laughing, crying,ringing..
Blur out at that moment when you can't hear anything.
When you have your resolution,
Stay through it.

Leave behind the sadness.
Don't hesitate or sigh.
It's a decision you made.
Don't regret it.
Even when you cry,
Smile through yor tears.
Because you did your best.

*****

When i write this kind of post,
Acually, i rarely know what i'm writing about.
It seems like nonsense to me.
But anyone who reads my posts,
They will interpret it in their own way.
And i will interpret it in my own.
So well, most of the time it's just whatever that comes to my mind :P

And tomorrow is a Monday... D:

Recession.

2011-01-27T19:52:00.006+08:00

GIVE IT TO ME!!!!
I am broke, and in debts.
Status : In financial crisis.
I may have earned money, but i don't like touching money in the bank.

Today, I am sad,
And GRIEF-sticken.(No Joke)
Even though it may just be $1.90.
Even though it may seem like PEANUTS to you.
I was very heartbroken. Seriously.
I will hate that person for life ._.
Somemore, when i was finally able to buy the egg!
I even spent more than i should just for the egg!
My egg, my food.... T.T
*Reaches out for tissues again*

*EDIT*
Oh ya, coz this incident left a deep scar in my heart,
I had no mood and flunked Amath & Chem(esp) test which are right after the disastrous accident.
:D

Btw the guy had no eyes. I was walking in front, of coz i wouln't know someone will come out and knock my food over.
BEST thing,
His food is still safe in his hands,
While mine is on the floor -.-
I totally blanked out at that moment.
Would have kept standing if yq nvr pull me.

P.S. To the culprit,
If u are reading this, please have the conscience to come and find me & compensate me. You even caused me to have no appetite for my steamed egg. It just seems tasteless to me.

What to do. I feel creeped out by myself. I keep stalking the person ._.

Free~

2011-01-24T20:05:00.006+08:00

People~ Let me teach you something today that i've learned from past experiences.
Don't feel demoralised or sad when you're left out.
Don't be too concerned if you know you won't be able to take the load.
I know, in life, sometimes we feel left out,
Or be envious of people of what you don't have.
I realised, when you don't achieve what you want,
You will feel very 不甘心 right?
Don't.
Because if you keep feeling this way,
You'll never be happy.
It's pointless to keep feeling frustrated anyway.
Be happy with simple happiness.
I'm very happy just being able to laugh & cry with you'all sometimes.
Even though i can't always do that.
When sometimes being left alone,
Just treat it as a time you spend and bond with yourself.
'Cause you never know if even you truly understand yourself.
Why impose your own happiness on others?
Must you really always rely on others to give you happiness?
Being happy or not,
It solely relies on you.
It's ok to break away from the sad realities in your life,
It's ok to accept that plain sadness in front of you,
It's ok to not care about other's opinions.
Just be happy for who you are.
Just be daring and don't care too much.
Just be free.

Be free and just enjoy every second of your life.
Being simple is the best happiness you can get.
So don't dwell or brood too much for things that don't go well.
HahasxD 'Cause even though by myself, I'm strong enough to show you my smile :D

Trust and Faith.

2011-01-23T19:58:00.003+08:00

Don't you think that trust and faith is like a bridge?
A bridge that bridges the hearts of humans.
Because you wouldn't extend that bridge of yours to others,
How can other people be able to walk to your heart,
And understand you?
It's sad when that bridge is not constructed properly.
Thinking that the other is not where you want to go to,
You do not even want that bridge to be formed.
How would you know if you've never been there?
That bridge of yours is so weak,
It hurts.
It hurts me to think you tried so little to build it.
You didn't try hard enough to understand.
You didn't try to travel to our hearts,
Yet you let no one travel to your heart.
You shut that bridge of yours entirely.
It isn't because we didn't extend our bridges to you,
It's because you refuse to walk our bridges.
You fear that once you step on it,
It will collapse.
Is our trust and faith so weak?
Trust and faith is like a bridge that links our hearts.
I do want to travel with you to our hearts,
Forever and ever,
For a relationship as strong as our bridge.

Storm.

2011-01-22T12:35:00.009+08:00

To me, it feels like we are a ship sailing through a storm.
Together, we continue to fight this adverse weather to reach our destination.
The storm never stops.
Back when it was still sunny and everyone was happily sailing,
With an ambitious heart, we aimed for the common destination.
The storm came so sudden and heavy,
We had no time to react or keep our ship to the minimum damage.
Some feared the storm and succumbed to it,
Thinking we'll never make it,
And they jumped off our ship.
We, with strong hearts, continue battling,
As we, at the same time, grief for our once-fellow-shipmates, and
Believe the storm will finally subside,
We, will stay together always.
When you think back about the hardships and joy when we went through this journey,
It's no wonder we would try so hard to survive,
To save our ship that we built up and glorified.
Even if we eventually sink,
We would sink as one.
No doubt in our hearts,
We still long to land ashore together and beat that storm.
And,
We will definitely do that.

For that certain someone:
When you're stuck in the middle,
One side shooting arrows at you,
And the other side viewing you as some kind of dog..

Take the arrows and aim back at them,
View them back as even worthless as dogs who just stand there and do nothing to help at all.

That's all i can say (:

Dear,

2011-01-21T20:28:00.008+08:00

I LOVE HIPPOS MAN!

Hey, Dear Teddy,
Is it ok if i talk to you a little?
Coz I feel like i can talk to you.
What should i do abt these confused feelings of mine?
I kept thinking and brooding over them.
Denying and reassuring myself.
I definitely know in my heart that i really don't care.
But, how come it seems like i do care?
I'm demoralised and frustrated.
I'm so upset i can just suffocate myself with my face in the pillow.
Guess it'll never work out for people like me.
Hey. Are you listening?
Stop staring and smiling, I'm not done yet.
I really miss her.
I miss her too
I do miss her too.
These 3 ppl,
I really miss them a lot.
Other than saying this,
I don't really know what else to say, coz all i can say is
I miss them.
I really won't ever know until i lose them...
Teddy, i know you are just a toy,
But thanks for listening.
Please continue to be by my side.
Because, i know only you can do that.
-Love, Lisa

Flaws.

2011-01-19T21:28:00.007+08:00

Hey~ Let me tell you ppl a secret.
I FEEL TALLER WHEN I TIP-TOE. :D
It's really amazing.
How come i never realised this?
I get to look at a different point of view when i tip-toe.xD

There's no turning back anymore.
No matter how much i continue to dream.
No matter how much i continue to wish.
'Cause in the end,
Dreams and wishes aren't meant to be granted so easily.
It really breaks my heart so much.
As if breaking it isn't enough,
The pieces are being stepped on and scattered.
And i just don't even have the will to find them back to piece it back.
Because, even if i had pieced it back,
My heart is still full of cracks and wounds.
Now, me, i am just an empty shell.
Pointless and hopeless.

I don't care anymore.
'Cause forcing myself to smile is just to hard.
But at the same time,
You can say that my smiling face had become my poker face.
Let me just wear a paper bag over my head.
Don't look at my face.

How i wish,the Sun will still shine like it used to, the rain will pour like it used to, and the smiles on our faces will be shown so genuinely like they used to.

Sorry that i can't do much..

2011-01-18T20:42:00.001+08:00

When you are sad and crying or feeling frustrated,
And i'm just standing there and doing nothing,
It's not because i don't care,
It's because i panicked.
I panicked so much i didn't know what to do.
In my simple,small little brain,
Brain cell 1 runs past brain cell 567 and got tangled up together,
And the rest are screaming their nerves off.
All of them ran to find a way on hw to comfort you in the depths of my brain.
So i could only stone there.
But i'd really like to help you.
So i'll be there for you.
Even though i'm doing nothing,
I am sincerely worried about you.
So by having me just beside you,
I hope you can feel my concern.

WITH LISA'S WONDERFUL SMART BRAIN,
LET ME INTRODUCE TO U A NEW EQUATION TODAY,
IT'S CALLED THE "LISA'S RULE" :
2 - ½ = ½!!!
(:
Was quite embarrassed. Ok, VERY.
Coz i created my own eqn so now i a bit shy.
Don't praise me too much xD

All the while i couldn't understand the working coz i thought that
2 - ½ = ½ and
2 + ½ = 1½ :P

LOL. i said don't praise me right?

Cold & Warm (:

2011-01-17T20:43:00.007+08:00

HELLO. This is my 71st post! (x Let's have a 71 run for it ;P

Amazingly <100 posts in 3yrs xD

I.Have.To.Stop.Eating.
I eat too much so my stomach is always bloated x.x
Like this :

It feels like i'm pregnant x)
It feels like i'm tying load around my waist.
It doesn't feel like it's my stomach D:
Looking at my bloated belly..
I feel like cutting it up and digging out everything inside.
MUAHAHAHAXD
Squeeze out everything and sew it back up (:
Sorry, if u read this while you were eating :P

It's really cold recently >.<
And I LIKE IT XD
It makes me think of Nepal D:
Miss it so much ._.
I should try bathing in cold water during this cold weather.
Should be damn shiok xDD
I will also eat ice cream, drink ice water, wear thin clothing,
And on air con :D
For these cold cold days.
No. I'm not trying to make myself sick, thanks for the concern (:
Miss the cold and fun days,
Coz with them, it's always warm.
Ok.. now i'm thinking of PB alr >.<
The feeling of our warm big family,
I really LOVE it so much.
Please don't forget us D:
Ok, i'm missing too much things now so i better stop before i start emo-ing.
:D
I'm repeating too many emoticons -.-

Google images sux =3= i can't find pics i want,
that's why i'm drawing my own xD
If u want, i can also draw for u.
But must order and pay ^^
Not ex, just $1 per pic.
50c or part thereof for extra details.

:P jkjk. If u don't mind the bad quality, can give for free.
Provided i'm free to draw xD

D:

2011-01-16T15:59:00.004+08:00

Every morning, i wake up and brush my teeth.
But everytime i would take the facial wash unconsciously,
And try to squeeze it out on my toothbrush. LOL
Luckily i always realised on the right timing and switched to the toothpaste. ;P
Ok, random x)

I emo-ed D: I know i'm a bit lag but let me tell u abt my feelings for S1OC this year.
which is 1 week ago.
Overall, this camp is WAY TOO disorganised T.T
I came across a blog of a sec 1 who commented that pre-camp was disorganised.
Well, i don't blame her.
But i blame someone else though. >.>
However, as a camp organiser,
I still feel low since everything still falls back on me.
No matter what, the result will still be my fault.
I felt that this is the camp that i had the least feelings for.
Throughout the whole camp, i was damn stressed out.
Maybe i'm not the most tired person,
But i can feel my soul leaving my body.
What's more, i have to keep reminding myself not to blank out.
And carry on with a positive mind.
Being positive is really tiring ._.
The previous camps i went, i was tired but happy.
Maybe coz i'm one of the organisers so now i understand the mess behind it.
Anyway, i think i don't ever want to try organising an event anymore.
It always demoralises me -.-.

Damn, it's cold >.< *ACHOO*

SATURDAY! x3

2011-01-15T19:37:00.002+08:00

HahasxD, for me, "Yay! It's Saturday~"

Today it's kind of an ideal day for me.
And i hardly have these kind of days during my holidays.

Today, i woke up at 11.51am :D
Walked slowly to bathroom and washed up.
Ate breakfast and used computer.
I started doing my homework slowly.(And i meant SLOWLY)
When i get a bit tired,
I go have a nap xDD
And i just finished dinner,
So i am here posting now (:

Saturday is my favourite day out of all 7 days :D
I can wake up late, sleep late.
Whatever i do, i don't have to rush.
It's the best day~
Too bad there's only 24 hrs in it.
It would be good if everyday is a Saturday ;P
Or, if all days except Saturday & Sunday have only 2hrs (kind enough)
And the rest would be Saturdays & Sundays xDD
I know it's never gonna happen though :D
Say i'm strong, coz i'm smiling even though Saturday only has 24hrs.
=3=

I realised nowadays i'm more active in blogging xDD
But probably still only a few people reading this ;P

To my bestie:
LOVE the SPEAK NOW album (x TS rules~~~

My World.

2011-01-14T15:46:00.003+08:00

lalalalala~...
I wish there will be one day,
I can go wherever i want,
Walk down any path i want,
Without caring for anything in the world.
Not the time, not anyone.
I want to go to places alone.
Play at night, sleep in the day.
Even if it's a long road for me to walk down,
If i can just close my eyes and feel the breeze on my face,
Hum my faourite song in my head,
And all the troubles left behind each footstep i take forward,
I'll walk till there's no tomorrow.

I also want to lie on a patch of grass in an open space,
And just stare up at the bright blue sky,
Making out the shapes of each cloud.
And when the rain starts coming down,
I would run to a nearby tree for shelter,
And gaze at the raindrops and listen to the sound that goes "Pitter patter.."
Lying against the trunk i would have a short nap.
By the time i wake up, the rain had stopped.
When i look up to the sky again,
I would see the ranbow smiling at me,
And the birds flying out and singing happily.
Let me skip in the meadow of flowers and enjoy their fragrance in the air.

I would go on the world's biggest ferris wheel alone,
When i reach the top,
I'd observe the city below me.
The night comes and the colourful lights would be seen at every street i go to.
Everywhere i go i hear different music and see different people.
Everyone smiles at me and i smile at them.
When i start dancing and singing in the middle of nowhere,
No sooner a crowd joins me and we're leading up a parade through the whole town.

And if i would just have this one day.

^^.

2011-01-13T21:39:00.007+08:00

HELLO. Let me 1st start by sharing with you people this to cheer u'all up if this week you have been moody and can't find smth funny to laugh at xD

Know Your CustomersFirst:
A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment.
A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"
The salesman explained
"When I got posted in the Middle East , I was very confident that I would make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic.
So, I planned to convey the message through three posters.

First poster: A man lying in the hot desert sand...totally exhausted and fainting. Second poster: The man is drinking our Cola.
Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed.
And Then these posters were pasted all over the place "Then that should have worked!" said the friend
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"The hell it should had!! said the salesman. Didn’t realize that Arabs read from right to left."

*****

And that is why Pepsi is better :D

LOL. And i just HAVE to share this xDD

Sigh. Tired. Mentally and physically. I know others work a lot harder than me and this is just me being lazy.
I want to find my motivation.
But it just doesn't seem to come to me.
Every morning i have to drag myself out of bed,
Coz i simply love my bed too much :D
I think of it every sec.
Everytime i thought of sacrificing my sleep so that i can getwork done.
But my sleep is so precious that i think i will have a hard time giving it up.
And my alarm seems to support this too.
Coz, MAGICALLY, the alarm nvr works when i set it for me to get up early for smth important.
And my nap always turns out to be longer than i planned.
Pls don't beat me up if u r now complaining that u don't even have the chance to nap.
But naps are important.
For energy and growth.
So i strongly encourage you to go take a nap now. (though now the time is at night, get it in the afternoon)
I predict that i will surely sleepwalk again this year.
Oftenly too.
Like this :

I wish that the fairies from sleeping beauty(disney version) could also help put the whole world to sleep so that i can sleep without being pressed for time.
Even a while is fine! T.T

Exclusively for tsm:
Shi min, you want to sleep together? :D

RAWR.

2011-01-12T23:10:00.007+08:00

HI PEOPLE!!! TODAY LET ME INTRODUCE TO YOU ONE OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS!!!

AND IT IS....!!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

KINDER BUENO YEAH!

‘Milk chocolate covered wafer with smooth milky and hazelnut filling’
And it is best eaten cold! xDD
1st step : Put in the fridge for 5 min& it'll be cold enough(or skip to step 2 if you can't wait)
2nd step : Take off the wrap.
3rd step : Bite the 1st segment out of all 4.
4th step : Feel the crunchiness of the wafer.
5th step : Savour the 'smooth milky and hazelnut filling' in your mouth.
6th step : Repeat steps 3-5
7th step : Throw the wrap.

THE BEST CHOCOLATE YOU CAN EVER EAT IN YOUR LIFETIME!
Light and easy to carry around too :D
1 packet : $1.45~$1.60 (excluding 7-11 the scammer store)
Value pack(3) : $3.95
10 in 1 pack : $10 smth cents.

SO CHEAP!!! I strongly encourage you to buy the 10 in 1 pack so that u save money and at the same time enjoy ALL 10 KINDER BUENOS slowly to your contentment xDD

It came to me suddenly how much i love kinder bueno when today i walked back home.
I went past this mama store and felt like buying it,
But i've no money and supposedly trying to be on diet.
So i could only stare at it in tears, go home and settle for low class chocs at home ;P

THE NO. 1 HIGH-CLASS CHEAP CHOCOLATE!!! DIE DIE MUST TRY!!!
If you haven't, you had wasted your life away ._.

Simple.

2011-01-11T22:10:00.002+08:00

I'm a simple-minded person.
I so obviously know that i shouldn't let it be like this,
But because of my simple mind,
I let my feeings get carried away,
And i just do whatever i like.
Because even if i tell myself :
I don't want to be so easily swayed.
In the end, i still give in.

The state that i will be in these few weeks,
Will be like the above picture.
Not liquid or solid or gas.
Just a pile of matter.
My life is not getting any easier,
Because last year, my pixies were late.
And i feel that they do not even want to come anymore coz they are late.

I have the urge to wail :
WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG???

But obviously i know where i did wrong.
And i cannot believe myself for being so hopeless.

The puppy that loves its owner so much,
Was so happy to play together everyday.
It would always run back happily to its owner after catching the frisbee.
But this one day,
When the puppy ran to get the frisbee that the owner threw again,
It saw no one waiting for it with open arms,
To receive the frisbee, pat on its head and say,"Good boy."
The puppy waited and waited,
But still, no one came to get the frisbee,
Nor came to get it.

Tears from Heaven..

2011-01-10T18:46:00.004+08:00

The sky is crying these few days...
I wonder what it is so sad about.
I bet it couldn't be more sad than i am,
Especially after the 'O' levels results came out.
To be honest,
Actually i don't feel all that stressed.
To me,
"I see.. Seniors so pro, i will also jy de."
^^
The sky is crying...
I hope it's not because i haven't done my homework yet o.O

Walking home today under my umbrella,
The rain prickled my skin.
Cooling and comforting,
I liked the drizzle.
So gentle and light,
It doesn't have to be a gloomy image when u hear of the rain.

Along with the sky,
Please cry,
Because no matter are you happy or sad,
Crying is not a sign of weakness.
People who cried today,
Don't be disheartened,
Once you cried today,
It just means you can smile again tomorrow,
Rather than you continue staying upset.

:D:D:D:D:D

^Dedicated to YQ~ xD

Red.

2011-01-09T13:54:00.002+08:00

When the heart hurts,
Or squeezes tightly,
It knows that it is in trouble.
Once said never to make the mistake again,
Eventually when it happens,
There's no stopping it.
The pain is a signal,
The happiness is a signal,
A signal that the other is near.
Even if it is the wrong signal,
The heart still hopes,
And never gives up searching.

It is frozen now.
The heart.
It wants to give up.
It wants to stop being disappointed.
No matter how much it bleeds,
No one knows.
Because of that,
It froze itself.
Not able to feel anything anymore.
While it is dreaming in the ice,
It dreams of a ray,
That will melt that wall,
And comfort its wounds..

How do you preserve a rose and always keep it beautiful?

cool.

PANIC!

2011-01-08T23:04:00.004+08:00

Well.. it's time to be BUSY! For what? 'O's lor -.-

To be honest, i really hate talking abt homework here.
But suddenly a big part of my life will soon revolve around it.
Ok. NOW revolve around it.
No more daydreaming in class le ._.
Must learn the skill of completing a mountain pile of work in a short time.
Ok la, liddat during my exams, my essay qns will be finished in the speed of light xD

ANNOYING!!!!

Sorry, no matter what i just have to express my displeasure.

*****
I'm currently in a blank.
Not feeling anything.
Nothing to say.
I wish i might, i wish i may..
This blank would be filled in soon.
When i tried so hard to fill it in,
It feels like the rain smudged everything,
And washed them all away.
Things in life are so fragile.
Everything can be destroyed by just just one mistake.
Maybe i'm just so weak.
The blank in my mind..
Even though it is empty,
My head feels like it's gonna burst from that vast blank.
Because, no matter how i try to think positively,
It feels like i'm nvr gonna be able to fill up all this blank-ness.

*****

Bear with it...

2011-01-02T21:46:00.004+08:00

After this year, i'm not going to hold back anymore.
I sincerely hope this will be the last year i'm gonna work myself to death.
Actually i am a shy and afraid person.
I don't dare to chase aft the things i want.
Tht's y probably i'm always unhappy.
I realised i have to work even harder than other ppl to obtain the happiness i want.
After this year,
I'm going to run loose.
Nobody is going to catch me.
Before i find my happiness,
Nobody shall stop me.
Because i will try my best.
I'll do the things i like.
Chiong for PASSION!

Dear studying,
You shall not control me anymore.
So if u want to survive in my house,
There's only one year left for u.
Aft that, find another household to torture coz i will throw u out of the window.

LOVE,
Lisa :D

Age is catching up to me, i can't let all these drag me down (:
I'll find the fun i want ^^
While i have the time, i'll do my best in laughing at ppl who are older than me
Coz i wan to laugh at ppl more than they will laugh at me ;P
CHEERS FOR YOUTH!

Should not hold onto hopeless hopes..

2011-01-02T01:02:00.004+08:00

Everyone! Happy New Year! (:

I'm the one who feels that, even though everyone is saying that, it'll not really be a that happy year for myself.
Other than the 'O's that's gonna dump pressure for all of us in my cohort,
i just want to say :
already 3 years in secondary sch
and my life is,
nothing but boring.
I feel kinda lonely on big days.
Because, while everyone feels happy on big days,
I'm here, bored out by myself and nth great is happening to me.
I'm sick of disappointments.
I know u don't understand what i'm referring to but that's ok.
That's why even on new year's eve, i slept at 10pm
And woke up at 1+pm on new year's day.
It feels amazing by itself that even though a year just passed,
I just slept through it.

I wonder is it because i'm too naive.
I hope for things that i know won't happen to me.
Even though i know having higher hopes means the greater the disappointments.
But it's even sadder and disheartening to know that,
I'm not hoping for anything and thr's really nth happening.
SERIOUSLY.

WHERE'S THE SURPRISE IN MY LIFE!?

ok.. ppl see me as a happy-go-lucky person. & i realised from a recent trip,
that coz i don't express my emotions well, ppl dunno when i'm hurt & angry.
well..
maybe.. coz i actually don't want to be hurt and angry?
I just thought that the atmosphere would be bad.
I don't express myself well.
I guess they would just take the smiles on my face for granted.
Who will see through my fake smile and see that i'm actually sad?
I guess it's ok coz i'm such a simpleton that i forget everything right away
And act cheerful again.
I'm afraid of showing my true emotions.
Hmm.. wouldn't it be great if i was able to willingly cry out to someone?
It'll just gna be a loooonnnnnnggggg time before i can find this person whom i will willingly show all my emotions to.
I also kind of realised, ppl tend to be less sensitive ard me.
Is it coz i just don't show them that i care?
Maybe coz i'm also insensitive that's y.

I'm sorry to ppl i've annoyed and irritated.
I'm sorry if i've made u sad.
I'm sorry if i'm just nt a gd person to be with.
I know.. that i'm a person with tons of flaws.
For ppl who have always tolerated me,
I'm very thankful.
I'm sorry u have to continue tolerating me.

Lost

2010-12-30T01:54:00.004+08:00

Remember a time when we were kids? When we have big dreams?
When we have a road we want to walk down no matter what?
But realities destroyed those roads.
Leaving us no choice but to balance on a thin piece of thread over rapids.
The places we wanted to go are unreachable.
So where should we go?
Dream of other dreams?
Find another road?
And then have them destroyed and crushed again?
I'll stay put until someone tells me where i can go.

Times when we were all happy together...
As long as we were all with each other,
No one says a word,
Because we were satisfied with the fact that we are right beside each other.
We would always be together...or so we thought.
People changed, feelings fade, bonds weakened...
Who would've thought just the day before we were still laughing together?
We have all scattered,
Without even giving our farewells,
We separated.
Though we may think back and reminisce about the fun past,
The present is unchangeable.
Even if we are together again,
It will never be the same again.
Because the us that enjoyed our simple ad happy times together,
Don't exist anymore.
We all chose that one time to jump off that cliff together,
Never appearing again.
And when we see each other again,
All that were left are our eroded memories.

^^

PASSION

2010-10-29T23:08:00.003+08:00

flower of passion

Everybody has their own passion. no matter is it the passion of liking or passion of hating.

It's just sad when nobody supports ur passion ):

I feel sad for ppl who cannot achieve their happiness. I feel sad for myself who cannot achieve happiness.

The passion of feeling sad? No. i don't like being sad.

Well, if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.

Am I failure? I think i am. I also think i'm stubborn. Perhaps u would say yes i AM. What to do anyway, it's in my blood that i'm a coward anw -.-

And it's also my cowardliness that caused no result from my passion.

SAD SAD SAD. I always curse and complain but i nvr do anything. And i don't even know how bad i am either. Well, i just know that my character is like this, and i find difficulty chging also..

Anyway an interesting thing to share with all of u (:
http://www.poodwaddle.com/worldclock.swf

Tick Tick Tock

HEY!

2010-09-25T20:11:00.005+08:00

HEY! HEAVEN!! Come out now!!!

When will i finally feel free? That's a question :P

Hmm.. but i do feel much more positive alr. It really felt good when once in a while, i feel important. When people depend on me, i really like it too. Though i may seem unreliable, but i really do want to help out.

The battle is still on-going. Even though our party is weaker and has less chances, i still hope to obtain the best for us. I don't want to lose hope, i refuse to admit that, there's nth else we could do, to change the result.

We are ONE after all, aren't we? (:

Even if people dislike us, i will still do my best to protect what is ours.

We are the victims, the 1st time in my life, in the 15th year i'm alive, i see the true colours of a human.
If you want to say ghosts, monsters, insects, heights, roller coasters are scary, aren't humans the one who are scariest?

Hey people. I do not understand y people dislike me. Just because the duty of upholding what is right is given to me, people have to go against me? Doesn't that mean u people just like to rebel? I'm just a normal being. I am a nice person u know? xDD So if u think i'm a bad person, talk more to me lor, coz i'm defiitely not just somebody who purposely make people upset. I love making friends u know? (: Sometimes though i'm a bit shy and not very open-minded.(IT'S TRUE I SWEAR!><) As long as u don't beat me up, i think i can stand it (:

Mugging suckkkkkksssss.... i wish people in this world r stupid so they will not create so much knowledge for themselves to learn HAHAHA.

Rdm smart ideas ;P

Did that kill anyone? o.O

Sharp blade xD

That's all, the person who is reading this post must like me v. much, since u can actually come here to this dead place and actually try checking if i posted so THANK YOU~ ^^ (but i might actually be talking to myself thou xDD) Look forward to the nxt post then xDD

Better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.

Clever Ideas

2010-09-16T21:52:00.010+08:00

Now even if u r the weakest person on earth, fear not! Even u can lift this up xD

Creative hor?

HahasxD This is the best picture xD

Hey peeps (: Thx for coming here (bet that it was just a random visit & u hadn't expect me to update xD)

I find that i'm always having tons of time spent with myself. Yet none used for studying. EOY is due 2 weeks time & spans over a total of 12/14 days? i 4gt ._. well, plus the fact that class tests are nxt week...

HOW CAN I SURVIVE A LIFE WITH SO MANY DAMN EXAMS???

I must have been a really lucky person to pass by my last 14 years smoothly.

My Drama always never fails to make me think so deep at the end of the day. The instructor really understands the ugly truth of this society.

And my current concern is:

If i know that in the future i will be finding a job that has no relevance to whatever shit i'm studying nw, y do i have to drag myself out of bed every morning & tolerate all the unnecessary knowledge that are being stuffed into my brain plus i still have to constantly bear the discrimination of unappreciative students in sch that do not behave as they should.

I nvr fail to be in awe whenever i realise that this world is so warped.

I'm a normal girl. Why can't people see that? i really get so frustrated that i really feel like my brain is splitting into two.

I HAVE A DAMN NAME! I HAVE A MOUTH THAT WOULD MAKE NORMAL COMMENTS LIKE ANY OTHER PEOPLE. SO STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE EVERYTIME.

but if i make ppl mad or hurt & it's rally my fault, i'm sincerely apologetic & probably didn't mean hw it actually seems to u.

My life is currently this :

I want to ride a SUPER thrilling roller coaster ride.

Illusions

2010-07-12T23:46:00.004+08:00

The sky is not blue. It really has no colour.
The light that passes through the atmosphere, it's blue light that can be seen more clearly.
The blue light that spreads across the world above me,
Clouds starts to cover what i see.
Rain starts pouring...
Will the storm stop?
I think of how the bright sun comes into view again,
And gives me the brilliant blue in the sky.
But the storm in my heart will never settle.
In my heart,
There's no sky, neither is there a blue light.
Just like the vast sky,
It has no colour, and the rainbow that forms, is not part of the sky either.
The sky is empty. Blank. Nothing.
However, i would still like to lie on my back and admire the sky.
I guess it's the only thing that would understand me now.
I gazed at the blue light that spreads across my sky.
I wish, when i close my eyes,
The sky would always be mine.

-Lisa

Nostalgia

2010-07-04T20:21:00.005+08:00

I just finish reading all of the posts i posted in this blog xD Dunno whr i got the time from, but anw there aren't many posts either xD
It's kinda of fun reading my mindset from sec 1 till now. Dunno to say whether i hav chged or not.
I found out that i seem like a weirdo in sec 1? maybe now still luhh. i seem a bit arrogant that time. is it? or now still? ._.
anw recalling past memories really makes me feel...i don't know...sad & happy at the same time.
I realised i had made a lot of wrong decisions and also met many wonderful people and experiences that let me know that,
Whether r they miserable or happy,
They are evidences of me being a human that's alive.
I'll never be the same person as i was before,
neither would the me tmr be he same as i am today.
So, whatever, i'll just 走一步，算一步.
& someday i'll come back and look thru the places i hav left my footsteps ad the places i walked with so many different people.

tmr will be pizza hut! yay~
but the current state of my wallet is almost empty.
I feel really heartbroken when my wealth(nt really) keeps dwindling.
MONEY!!! YOU ARE MY HEARTBREAKER!!!! T.T
Quite looking forward to tmr.
But mus hurry up finish my hmk 1st so no worries for tmr (:

I wan watch movie! i gt vouchers for $6 movie tickets (3)
I can give 2 to the ppl that r willing to pei me xD

hahasxD finally a normal post frm me :P

Mélancolie

2010-07-04T01:34:00.003+08:00

Hi, back at blogging.

I'm a really emotional person, i think. i cry at silly things, laugh at stupid things and get enclosed in my own world.
People might see me as cheerful or whatever. But actually i'm not a person with a character that can socialise very well. I think i'm really an introvert if u wan me to choose between that and an extrovert.
Sometimes i just feel lonely. i feel like no one really understands me and i hav nvr even met a person that i can open up my heart to and rely on without any worries.
no one waits for me, sometimes i feel so left behind that i'm sick of catching up anymore. i'm really not trying to make myself seem pitiful. it's just that i really can't bottle all those feelings up anymore. Everyday i feel like i can try to be happy again but as it turns out, i'm really a person without anything. i feel so empty that i constantly think that i wud be better off living a meaningless life.

If there're two things that can make me slightly happier, they're :
1. My height to increase drastically
2. People to stop labelling me

There's not a time i can stop crying even though i really want to become stronger.
I can only act like i'm ok with everything even though inside me i'm so frustrated it's almost i'm self-destructing. Seriously my life is so tiring.
But for the minimum number of things that i'm grateful for, i'm glad that they are there so my whole life isn't so depressing.

I just wish to be understood. i don't think it'll happen in my current lifetime or my future lifetimes though.

Useless smiles

2010-06-23T23:33:00.004+08:00

Love and Hate are not opposites.
That's why even though i like this or that person a lot.
I still can't help but immensely dislike them at the same time.
And it's becoz of my selfishness that this happens.
Though actually i don't mind being selfish.
Why should act like a goody-goody and follow or those morals & values?
To be more human and less inhuman?
Seriously, what's the definition of a human?
I feel that acting with the attitude of a saint or forcing urself to think kindly or in the righteous way, is the ultimate selfishness.
But of coz i don't approve of crimes and murders or terrorisms.That's just overboard and insane they don't even have the right to be inhuman.

To why had the 1st sentence chged to an utterly different topic with he last sentence, i have no idea.
But it's really hard when i recognise my thoughts are like this.
Angsty is really the trend isn't it?

Sometimes i wish that thr would just be 1 person that understands me and can protect my lonely heart.

My beloved cream puffs & curry puffs~

2010-05-31T23:59:00.004+08:00

That's for tea break during AEM xDD also gt egg tarts but not my beloved luhh ;P

Haiz the start of a torturous week coz of AEM due to mr lee forcing us to go T.T
My beloved sleep GONE!!!
woke a 6.30 coz didnt know yio chu kng mrt is just right beside khatib ._.
waited ages before the tchrs finally bring us to NYP.
Nanotech was OKAY.
just sleepy during the lectures.
Food breaks r wad motivates me to carry on the whole day.
practically i find difficulty understanding so well.. nvr really pay much attention.
haiz so sad luhh hav tests & presentation eh..
summore on 2 days.
no wonder can only skip one day.
no matter wad still will hav test -.-
hahasxD btw nw i understand y mr chang likes the lab coat so much xD

thr is 1 thing i rmbed while going home.
Sabina's "Tmr we meet 8.40 at the mrt TRACK hor."
Lol before even able to meet up with her, we wil get knocked down 1st" xDD

well that's all.jy for the busy hols ba ppl xD
i also post 1 joke ;P (steal frm yq ;P)

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go
to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten
apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to
shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your
face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out
in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this
should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one
asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The
second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy
coming with pineapples."

2010-05-07T21:06:00.004+08:00

Am i fake in people's eyes? Or what ever is it?
What wrong did i do?
I'm doing my very best.
All i know is what ever i do, is sincere.
I do have things i like and things i like.
And i do express them openly.
I never really actually care what people thought.
I didn't think badly of them either.
I just can't understand how people can be so judgemental.
Is it coz of my timidity?
I really can't do anything about their thoughts either.
I wish someone would tell me i'm just thinking too much.
How come i never really felt true support from anyone?
Is it really because i did something wrong?

half-wilted.

2010-04-23T20:24:00.002+08:00

There was a girl who was scared of loneliness.
Yet she wants her freedom.
Is it coz of greediness?
Selfishness?
When knowing that other people have more acquaintances than she do,
She can't help but feel a bit envious,
Even a little sad.
In her whole life,
She never felt that she belonged anywhere.
Nobody will be there for her.
People knows her,
She knows them.
Nobody really opened their hearts to her,
Depended on her.
She wanted so much to know true friendship.
It wasn't that people didn't like her,
Nor was it that she doesn't have friends.
She feels like a spirit that can float anywhere.
She has nowhere to go.
Every second,
She is scared of being abandoned.
Nobody will wait for her.
She really tries very hard to catch up.
But it was a never-ending race.
She can never see her true friends at the finishing line.

Once,she did see somebody at that finishing line.
Somebody who accepted her eveything.
Somebody who depended on her.
Somebody who she depended on.
They both waited for each other.
Until the day,she did not wait for her.
And that somebody left without a warning.

Is the problem with her?
She could never figure out.
She could never enjoy that friendship others had.
Never again.

~Lisa

2010-04-18T22:44:00.004+08:00

What happens if a person contradicts himself?
Saying one thing, but meaning another.
Why do people always hide their true feelings?
& only show that superficial side to others?
Is it to make others feel better?
Or to make yourself feel better?
You think that it's only right to be positive and show people that bright side,
but is it really what you're feeling?
Has your true feelings and mindset,
really become positive and bright?
Nobody really shows a whole true side of themselves to anybody
Maybe,
Even they themselves,
Don't know the whole true side of themselves.
Do you wish to find out that true side?
I wonder if when you really finally found it,
and express it to others,
is it the ultimate success of being yourself?
When you don't deny your own secrets,
no matter if you are ultimately a negative or positive person,
isn't it all your truest feelings?
If your whole life is a big question,
Is the answer a definite?
Or is it a free-response question?
What answer do you choose?
To answer your whole life.

~Lisa

Smilee always xD

2010-04-07T20:02:00.002+08:00

What is a wish?
Is it just plainly wanting the things u want to happen?
Maybe,
A wish may seem pure & hopeful
But have u realised?
A wish came out from humans' selfish desires
Isn't it coz you're wanting smth that is of advantage to you,
that you're wishing?
U say u wish for others' happiness,
isn't it coz u wan to seem like a gd person?
Sum1 that also think of others?
It's a kind of self-fulfillment too.
To make urself happy.
If u really do get 3 wishes frm a genie,
Will u use them for others,
or ill u use them all for urself?
When a wish comes true,
Is it when u r in a dark corner,
& u can see the light,
when thr r no doors or windows?
Wish - a simple word,
But it holds humans' greatest dreams & desires.

~Lisa
just crapping ;P

I love my Friends~ ^^

2010-02-05T19:52:00.004+08:00

Suddenly feel like blogging ^^
But i don't know what to write ._.
Hmm...
These days i get soooo tired x.x
My eyelids always droopy droopy de
I start missing my bed alr when i get up from it T.T

Oh~Btw thou not really interesting, i sleptwalked ytd! xD
I was in my parents' room resting for awhile then i fell asleep ._.
then like near midnight i got up myself & went to my own room
which i don't rmb o.O
& then i woke up at 2+am to find my lights on,fan off,specs on plus the jacket i was wearing when i was resting i still wearing it lor xD
I don't rmb on-ing my lights..
Anw~It's quite an interesting experience for me ;P
wish it'll happen again xD

Today ran 4 rounds arnd the sch~ xD
Timing : 14:20
WOW~!!! My fastest record ever ;DDD
LOl may seem quite slow for u'all but for me it's such a big accomplishment i need a moment to feel proud on my own xD
hahasxD also thx yunqian for encouraging me on luhh~ ;P

HahasxD Can't wait for 7 feb the duty~
Coz i wan wear the PB formal wear so much! xD
last time i wore was last year june ._.
Thou i gt the duty that is stay thr forever de T.T
Well..just hope the event goes well xD

I dislike emo & gt attitude-prob de ppl ._.
Not particularly saying any1 luhh..
Just saying this coz when i watch tv this ppl get on my nerves?O.o
Emo for gd reason still aceptable,emo for no reason then is crazy lor
In my view,is a bit like self-pitying urself which is really stupid
Attitude ppl just need to go refine themselves lor ._.
Like they all too free to go & create trouble,
which benefits neither party,& still so cocky-.-
Btw,let me say agn,i'm not scolding anybody hor o.O
If u think u r the above ppl then reflect urself (as in CLVS lesson xD)
Or else uhh...u insist nth wrong with u then suit urself? xD
Maybe i just find myself to be the above ppl so i'm scolding myself now ba ;P

Stop here le luhh,i think i wrote too much ._.
xD

~~all the unpredictables~~~

lalala~

2010-01-24T21:44:00.004+08:00

I just read finish this book and it's highly recommended by me! xD
So looking forward to the sequel & movie ;P
Still thinking abt the story~ i always feel sad when i finish 1 good story xD
Like i can't bear for it to end xD

Anw~
This is my 1st post this year xD
Sec 3 life ah...hectic lor, i'm sure tons of ppl hav said this alr
hmk just comes 1 day aft another ._. in stacks even.
haiz...nxt week will be the week of tests x.x
i haven't started studying yet lor.. ><"

Nth interesting lately to talk about actually.. ._.
so i'll end off here ;P
My very 1st incredibly short post~ xD

Wafflestick!~

Haiz...

2009-12-26T13:00:00.004+08:00

Don't know for some reason aft Bintan i get so depressed.. ._.
Not that i hated the trip,
It was really FUN!
Love the hotel room & meals xD

Maybe i'm just a greedy spoilt kid that wants too much
Even though i know there's nth different frm all the previous times..
I think i just expected too much & am now in abit of disappointment.

Anw..i super want a christmas party with friends kay? ><"
A new year party oso can luhh :P

The year is coming to an end le..
& i feel like i haven't finish what i want to do yet.
Even though i don't know what it is ._.
I just don't wish it ends so fast.
Sch is also reopening..
Nvm,
An ending leads to a new beginning!
Nxt year i'll surely spend it to my fullest without regrets! :D

Merry Late Christmas? :P

No Link~

Rdm-ing~..

2009-12-02T23:42:00.003+08:00

Thr's nth to post actually but i juz suddenly feel like writing smth :P
the 2nd of Dec & 15min away to the 3rd...
ok i know i too bored le luhh...
nth to do only can stay at home play comp,psp -.-...

hmmm..
list the events that happened aft SLC camp & i didn't post about ba..
if i rmb.. ._.

nov
12 - Lydia/Joven's B-day party :D
19 - FT outing~<3
21 - nEbO quest xD
23 - Prefect gathering (hello bestie,bb Fgb ._.)
26 - CCHY Open House briefing o.O
28 - CCHY Open House x)
29 - Movie with besties~^^

others include :cca,rotting,slacking & rotting... ._.

Coming events~ Dec
8 - Not an event but Fgb will be bck xD
13 - (Maybe)nEbO W.I.S.H event *.*
14 - SLC results out~ (not event oso)
18~21 - BINTANNNNN~~~~~!!!!!
23 - Sec 1 registration (:

don't know have more or not lor.. ._.

I wan go out more lehh....super sian at home T.T
Ppl see this post must invite me out for outing if hav hor><

Holidays left 1 more month le!
Must hurry play until vomit then can luhh!
or else very waste lor stay at home -.-
i promise i will study also de >< (abit ba :P)

waaa~ can't believe gna become upper sec le...
So FAST lor.. ._.
Primary sch i keep thinking hw come so long de -.-
2 years just ZOOM-ed past le o.O
& i'm still short-.-
ok rdm xD

haiz...TO INFINITY & BEYOND~~~!!!
ok that came out of nowhr xD
just thought of it.

ok ba end post le luhh ._.
bullshitting here only :P

BYE~~

~~Pi pa la pi pak~!~~

wow...

2009-11-09T11:34:00.005+08:00

I think i'm abit slow... every1 has posted hw they will miss our sec 1&2 yrs.
The class having our last days as one.
I thought it was natural and nth much.
Since we r still in the same sch.
But as the realisation of our class separating hit me,
I guess i finally understood that it really was a sad thing.

The memories we have created & the fun lessons we have in class,
The trips we had tgt,
All sorts of stuff happened,
who knew that 2 yrs could pass so fast?
I'm sure all of us will cherish this important phase of our life forever.
2H'09!<3

SLC camp

SUPER FUN!!!! 爱 !

Grp 5 members:
Xin Hui
Xin Ting
Duan Feng
Gaines
Meng Wee
Guan Hoe
Benjamin(MIA in photo ._.)
Me~

haha xD grp 5 maybe the last & scored lowest,but we had tons of fun
& made gr8 bondings in the progress xD
The home run damn memorable lor
Run here run thr in the end completed oni 4/10 tasks.. ._.
super funny luhhs xD

the practicing of our dance was crazy too xD
Duan Feng & Gaines like dance till very obscene lor(can onli be seen in practices)xD
Xin Ting Learned Aces & jumping jacks! *clap*
Waa~ Benjamin must talk more worhhs xD but very supportive hahasxD
xin Hui is very contibutive xD
Meng Wee the hyper person lor xD Wee Meng lols
Guan Hoe active person :D

I rmb Duan Feng's reflection :
Even though Grp 5 gt 18 pts in Home Run...Our grp has many Shuaiges & chiobus.(ROFL)
Xin Ting listens well,Lisa very Enthu,Xin hui is contributive & benjamin is supportive xD

Lol...smth liddat luhhs ._.
i wonder wad the tchers will think after seeing his orange card xD

The grp performances on the last night was super great luhhs!
every grp like so creative lor xD
Luved the chicky dance xD
coz yq alrdy wrote all the performances stuff,i dun wan repeat ._.

Haiz.. 2D1N...wth whr gt camp dis short de-.-...
But it rox like heaven lor! xD

爱~ !

Happy Halloween~

2009-11-01T19:11:00.002+08:00

Weee~~~ here to post bout ytd xD coz reached home super late ytd & too tired 2 post xD

In the morn went to wynne's house 2 do the d&T thing wif wynne & lydia. ._.
we did veryveryvery little on it...most of the time playing
especially after which chairat & joven came too xD
in the afternoon...
while mi,wynne & chairat r in dreamland...^^
joven & lydia were having bonding session lor xD
stuff toy fight tgt on wynne's bed LOL.

Dinner-ed at the coffeeshop near joven's house.
It was pouring lor xD luckily we reach thr le den rain
i finally got to eat sotong agn xD
the cereal with the prawn was nice ^^
after which the guys hav to go Night Safari...):
i din think bout goin coz it was expensive...
but I STILL WANT TO GO!!!

so i called my mom if i could go..
& YES!I CAN GO~~~~~ ^o^
LOL
we sat on the normal tram & looked at animals xD
sadly we cant get on the horror tram T.T
coz its suspended due to overwhelming response-.-

taxi-ed bck 2 northpt & watched joven & haikel supper-ed..
den bus-ed home xD
reached home at 11.30++ O.o...
so far the latest i've reached home xD
hope thr wun be a nxt time... ._.

dats it for nw... buaiix xD

Happy Halloween!^^
haha yunqian!^^my hidden words LOL

Mugging starts...T.T

2009-09-13T19:44:00.000+08:00

2dae was supposed to meet wif joanna to go library 2gether.When chairat heard dis ytd,he said he wans 2 come too.joanna doesnt noe.
So he was suppose 2 meet mi 1st at sembawang mrt at 11.55am.
which he was late & reached at 12.10am=.=(dis is the correct time FGB!)

while bringing him 2 the library,called joanna & my crazy pri sch fren picked up @.@
LOL i tot i was the oni 1 hu brought sum1 else without the other party knowing.
In the end turns out my another 2 pri sch frens came oso as we all coincidentally met.
Chairat was sooo quiet when we were wif them xD
separated frm them coz dey were too noisy & distracting xD
did hmk till 1+ den KFCed wif FGB & jellie xD (seems like i hav been having kfc too much x.x)

Den we went arcade play until 3+
went to a nearby void deck & chatted (agn!xD)
moved to the playgrnd thr & hoedown throwdowned.Taught joanna the dance & she seemed addicted to it lerhhs xD
Chatting thr again until 5pm & went home.
Oh ya!btw chairat wore a national day themed clothing 2dae xD

omg la-.- 4 more weeks 2 EOY.told myself 2 mug like siao for it.hopefully i wun start 2 miss the computer too much T.T.Must strive to do well in it! then we can celebr8 & go kbox-ing after it xD

Sch reopens tmr.No mood la T.T tmr will be VERRRYYYY busy lor T^T.Still hav sci test by the cruel mr thong =.=.

~~And the 1 week holidays end...~~

At least i don regret goin :D

2009-09-12T15:05:00.002+08:00

will tok bout ytd's outing(: start wif bad news 1st so we'll juz hurry up & get over it.
i lost my wallet.
the ez-link card i juz topped up too.$20 cash dunno go whr le-.-
the prob lies wif the stupid bag wif big hole.
told my mom bout it when in mrt den she tell mi go bck find even thou is so late & so faraway le.
i am very touched dat chairat & yq wanted to accompany mi>.< dey looked so cool when dey fished out their hp at the same time to call their parents.
even thou u 2 cant make it afterall,i hav felt both of ur sincerity so it's ok!
went finding wif my dad & reach home at 11.10pm.the motorbike ride was looong...my butt hurt.

NW TO THE FUN PRT!met wif chairat 1st at khatib central.
actually wan eat breakfast together but he 20min late lor!yq cant hav breakfast wif us coz she nid help her grandma.but anyway oso din eat at all in the end=.=
den we took bus 39 to white sands & KFCed till 2pm liddat.
walked 2 pasir ris park in the drizzle>.<
rented bikes & traveled arnd the park.
played the swings awhile & the water at the beach then nid go return bikes.
wanted 2 go bck playgrd but yq said too far):
so we went to downtowneast den go wad ehub! shopping centre & play at zone-x! xD
LUV the drums luhhs.but the other dun even wan 2 continue play wif mi lor.
i noe the bball very fun but chairat made mi play the machine wif so little balls & my legs get tired at it-.-
after dat toured round the shopping centre & chairat suddenly say he wan play the playgrd @ pasir ris park=.=

IF HE WAS GOIN 2 DO DAT HE SHUD HAV SAID SO WHEN I WAS PLEADING YQ B4!-.-
so we went bck-.- juz to kill time.
yq told us 2 reach the playgrd by 20min or will hafta do forfeit.
chairat walk so fast lor! but still 1min late xD
Luv the turning satelite thing xD
& the thing dat u sit on den swing left to rite de(not swing la)
chairat seriously swing too hard la!
make mi fall down-.-

we mounted to the peak of the spider web!xD i tot i cant do it-.-
so scary lor when we all on top below the ppl keep shakingT.T

den we hung arnd the fitness corner & saw ah gong ah ma play bball xD so cute!
kept chatting & guessing songs oso.yq hav so many cartoon song lor!
we also danced hoedown throwdown thr xD
walk bck 2 mrt station frm the playgrd at 7.15pm.
those 2 ppl like so damn scared coz of 7th month & the park is all dark xD

HAD A FUN TIME!!!!!<3 I DIN REGRET IT AT ALL! even if it means i hav 2 lose my glass shoe in the process :)

The magic disappears while you're so happy & having fun.

Don't be unromantic like YQ luhhs=.=

2009-09-06T22:28:00.001+08:00

kudos to mikeinel! :D

huhhs...

2009-09-06T21:55:00.001+08:00

actually,i shud hav posted dis ytd but stupid blogger did nt publish it & i oso hav closed the window & it made mi damn pissed off i juz cudnt rewrite the whole thing agn.
it juz had 2 go against me too even when im alrdy so gloomy the whole week.
so i decided 2 do it agn 2dae.
but cut out some parts coz i ralli will get angry agn if i think about hw im rewriting=.=

so ytd Saturday,duty was boring & long.onli 5 sec 2s came & queenie said we were like outcasts.YQ still said it wud be fun & wanted to go=.=muihan oso.we had 2 get up so early & u shud hav seen the dead atmosphere in PB room in the morning.xD
but yq & muihan nxt time will hav ur turns de la=.= dey told us & den we wun hav 2 go xD
den i din get takeaway the food i wanted to coz i stayed in the mph too long for the duty.
it was oso freezing in thr & wif the long talk plus i was sleepy.
so i slept 1/2 hr in thr @ the bck?o.o
left sch at 1.05pm when most of the pb left duty & went home or sumwhr else @ 11am+=.=

Sry 2 the ppl who were worried bout mi.I juz hav 2 say dat it wasnt juz coz of missing the chance dat made me sad.I juz didnt hav a nice week so those feelings dat had been bottling & i couldn't let it out,was finally cried out dat day thx 2 the stars.
is it a gd thing afterall?
bad stuff no matter is it at home or in sch
i swear i will go 2 sum other place better than the sci centre a million times 2 date wif the space even the whole milky way!xD
i strongly dislike being emo so dun hav 2 worry too much la.
or else i wud hav died long ago=.=
thx for comforting mi.(:

SOOOO LOOKING FORWARD 2 THE OUTING!even thou we hav no idea whr 2 go yet ._.
any suggestions?
ice skating,sentosa,pasir ris...-___- hmm
LOL qiann said dat chairat ask us go sentosa find bfs/gf xD
den we say if we ralli goin do dat we will dump them after we exit sentosa. LOLs
we oso said maybe our couples thinking the same oso.
lol.
nw coz of them i ralli wanna try ice skating lors.O_O
i will risk injuries for it so i ralli wan try someday.

ok...so maybe wad im writing doesnt look like i cut out alot of parts xD
coz i hav wild imagination & my writing tends to get naggy=.= (even nw is the same)
so i'll stop here.

It makes me wonder if i was a star in my previous life.

:D

2009-08-22T23:34:00.001+08:00

went escpae 2dae wif wynne,dexuan,chairat,kelvin & gaines.yunqian shud hav gone but her eyes went crazy=.=so sadddT.T i wanted her 2 come.if not for wynne hu can oni make it 2dae,i wudnt hav gone.

1st we went 2 white sands & played at the arcade 2 w8 for kelvin.gaines keep playing the dance machine den waste time nia=.= den we bought kfc takeaway eat,thou eat until halfway is like very full liao x_x.

we played at escape in pairs.wad pairs?=.=go chairat's blog.i wanted 2 pair wif yq!>.< nt the keep pressing mai head de=.=den we played the rides.luv the viking ship!<3
mi & chairat sat @ the 2nd last row twice coz the last row occupied liao): den the last time we finally gt 2 sit @ the last row!
but chairat was like goin vomit the last time=.=
& kelvin was damn scared of the viking ship after the 1st time we took it.
he oni dared sit @ 1st & 2nd row xD
even the 2nd row was scary to him le=.=

gaines spent $2.50 on "thank you"=.=
the kid i said "hello" too at the games booth was cute xD
but he seemed to be scared of mi=.=
hw can?!
den the flume ride made mi wet
lucky i bought the smu shirt
but my pants were like wet
& i dun like it=.=

when we went haunted house the 2nd time b4 we go home
chairat & i screamed.
why?
coz a random person hu was oso in the haunted house suddenly stand thr under the light & scared the hell out of us=.=

i liked the go-kart<3 & the ferris wheel<3 even thou it was small=.= i wish 2 go on a bigger 1
but i dun think i like the s'pore flyer-_-
coz wun be able 2 feel the excitement of the height

the following rides r not said in sequence & i din say all the rides we went on

homed in a rush coz of wynne.wan her go out wif us agn so we chiong like siao
hope she made it in time

tired day but happy (wud've been better wif yq,hazira,queenie,mui han thou)

bye~

HELLOOOOOOOOOOO~!

aiyo...

2009-08-21T20:18:00.000+08:00

hav been sick for the past 2 weeks=.=....must be coZ of the chocolates frm b4=.= OR chairat hu keep pressing my head=.=

ughhhh very troublesome leh.said we wanted 2 go escape but suddenly last min ppl bck out den some go saturday duty.den oso dunno wad 2 do alrdy lor.anyway gt alot complicated matters la +_+

actually 2dae i gt things i hav planned 2 do-.- den suddenly gt td's deco>.< totally ruined all my plans.den nw i headaching bout wad we r goin 2 do tmr._.

tok bout CT...gt bck maths...nt happy bout it lor.so many get so high den i like so low=.= aiya dun tok bout dis alrdy.i now very angry & confused *sigh*
i can feel my blood pressure rising.

byebye

~~ladida~~~

yawn.

2009-08-07T21:21:00.000+08:00

Today was LOOONG day...for national day.In the morning was emceeing & made alot of mistakes.*covers face*ahhhhhhh it was so embarrassing.*deletes memory* but den hor,i didnt even get 2 see the videos at all,nt even 1 full video=.=received the flag wif choco inside.the choco was AWFUL>.< when i popped it into my mouth,i was like:
Is dis actually edible?Its not the decor in the flag rite?=.=
& i tot it was candy b4 the tcher told us it was choco._.
& worst of all coz the cap at the bottom is loose,
i had to take out all the choco & eat it @ once(throw away too wasteful ma)
IT WAS YUCK.too sweet & is not those declicious sweet,is horrible sweet
anyway...even thou the choco wasn't nice,i still liked the flag!:D
we oso gt gum but none of us wanted it so i gave 2 my bro-.-

LDRSHIP WRKSHOP~
so sad i missed ytd's bet it was fun,coz the wrkshop 2dae was ralli gr8!
& i was scared dat it might be boring
it hadn't been quite hard 2 plan things together after all
we juz nid 2 sit down all together & discuss
wonder y in the past,a project or task dat was given was not planned up well.

last of all the MAGIC by 1 of the trainers,Hugen.It was scary~yq was shocked oso
frm the way yq said bout the 8 diamonds,its as if the trainer hypnotised her xD
Mi & queenie were telling her 2 be careful & alert.
coz she always seems to be an easy target for being a victim for others xD

So i guess dats bout it...
bye~

Happy early NDP!

awwwwwww..........

2009-08-05T18:15:00.000+08:00

hellos.
tmm FINALLY FOUND MY MATHS 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*dances around*its a MIRACLE!i knew i handed up 2 her.& suey suey she actually dropped 2 of my books=.= the 1st 1 was maths 3 which she onli found it ytd & maths 2 which she found it quite fast.luckily she found it by ytd coz i was goin 2 use a new book for maths 3=.=

Classes was as per normal~

after sch...stayed bck for grad noon.we were all in the library b4 dat & i swear i will kill 姓巫的 for taking my pics secretly.my pics nt anyhw take de hor.mus pay money-.- LOLxD juz kidding(dun like cameras><) but i welcome any1 hu wans mi 2 help them take a pic :D

GRAD NOON~~~it was COOOOLDDDDD in the ava room.our grad noon performance was the 1st item & i bet all of us panicked since we 4gt 2 swayyyyy~~~~~=.=after dat was the speeches.Den the video.It was damn cute luh.the speech bubbles were hilarious.
the graduating ppl were so cute as babies!:3
anyway the video was awesome.will we be doin 1 nxt time?coz if its true,i dunno how +_+.
awwww....mrs tan!dun cry!it makes us sad tooT.T well actually we noe dat mrs tan loves PB very much & we love her too~! 2H oso:D i've always tot dat she is a very cool & cute tcher(:
so sad she cant continue teaching us the rest of the yr='( but i look 4wrd goin 2 her house & c if her daughter looks more like her or mr tan xD

the food was GREAT<3!especially the CREAM PUFFS~~~~~~~~~~~so NICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
mus nvr leave cream puffs out of the menu>.<
the chocolate cake was chocolatey~
:D
after dat homed wif eileen & hazira.the rest went front gate even thou backgate was open.
its a mystery=.=

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

"I've got you and you've got MEEEE"

~~haha~~

OMG................=.=

2009-08-03T19:22:00.000+08:00

I think this is really baddddddddd...........how can so many things happen in this week?=.=
1st thing 1st i still hav my hmk to do
den things clashes & i seriously dunno wad to do
if u nid 2 be at 2 places at the same time & u want to go both places,
wad do u do?
i really dunno hw 2 handle dis
i SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY wan 2 go for both things>.<
dis is bad~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~><
& partly the cause of dis is the stupid H1N1 dat took away my overseas trips,cca & postponed a hell lot of things.y mus it be dis year?y cant the stupid mexico take gd care of their pigs?=.=
i'm seriously angry-_________-
the whole week i'm nt free~~~~TT_______________TT
SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~~~~~~*drowning in despair*

nxt thing.......wad shud i say....the timetable chged & i hate it?O.o
i wan the CLVS periods to be all together xD

the depressing stuff is still goin on...........-_+"
but seriously i cant juz chge myself for the sake of other ppl rite?
i like hu i am
& i will be myself.

i am unhappy.............=.= wad kind of stupid existence created humans to let them suffer in the world?earth shud juz be another planet dat doesnt hav sufficient living conditions to support life=.=

i'm thinking...GOD i ralli dun hav any happy stuff dis week at all +_+.actually i had but wad happened as mentioned above totally killed
my last drop of happinessT.T
well...at least i'm still happy when singing "chan mali chan" xD

Chan mali chan
Chan mali chan
Chan mali chan
KETIPUNG~~~PAYUNG!!!

:D:D:D

long time no post :P

2009-08-02T22:01:00.000+08:00

hi everybody!today i was not suppose to post as thr's nth 2 write on a weekend.but i juz couldnt stand the not updated blog.nth happened anyway.stayed home the whole day.can't even go to the chinese play ytd.it was so sad lor.coz i'm the oni person hu went to smu & didnt go chinese play.T.T i missed the blazer>.< thou i didnt wan to wear the shoes & haven bought them yet.

it is goin 2 be a busy week ahead,i hav tons of things 2 do & hav so much hmk oso nid prepare for upcoming common test.i juz hope everything goes well & my usual incredible & unbelievable luck has not run out yet.i still haven mention b4 hw incredibly lucky i am yet.i cant believe dat i can pass things so smoothly,i'm scared dat it's goin to end soon T^T.

btw....I LUV DBSK~Kimhyunjoong~ xDDD luv the dbsk songs & KHJ 4D personality.haven get 2 download their songs yet.i will download them when i finally hav earphones to listen to my mp4=.=.its been so long & i still haven get a new one.told sarah to get it for mi but she says its out of stock,its goin to be 2 weeks since i asked her alrdy=.=

it is simply too depressing:(...well not those things above,smth far more depressing.when i wrote this paragragh den i realised i shud be depressed over the things above too o.O.CLVS lesson must hav worked xD or maybe its another one of my blindly optimistic personality=.= i ralli feel very sad nwadays.thou this thing has not happened juz once or twice b4 i feel ralli depressed over it nw.dunno yO.o.

1,2,3 FIGHTING~ :D